6:30 PM | Gaming: WHY THE %&*# IS THIS SO %&#ING IMPOSSIBLE?
A discussion about Web-based games that are intentionally way too hard. Panel features Bennett Foddy, creator of the single greatest game in history: QWOP, in which you painstakingly control the rubbery legs of a dim-witted track runner. [Potentially interesting]
8:30 PM | MemeFactory
I’ll just quote the description of this one and you can try to figure out for yourself whether it’s horseshit: “MemeFactory is three men with three projectors running three simultaneous PowerPoint presentations. MemeFactory is a tightly rehearsed and choreographed show describing and celebrating Internet culture. MemeFactory causes information sickness.” [Answer: yeah, it’s horseshit]
Saturday
9:30 AM | Keynote: Supercuts
You know those videos where someone cuts together every single instance of a person saying “I’m not here to make friends” on a reality TV show? That’s a supercut. It may be interesting to hear how the creators accomplish the extensive research required, but stay frosty: if it starts drifting into Supercuts as Important Art, get the hell out of there. [Pretty okay, I bet]
11 AM | Lolitics: Memes and Politics
Memes are totally important! Like, cause what’s the Arab Spring but one big meme? Kony 2012! [It would be nothing short of a miracle if this were not horseshit]
11 AM | Drunk Vegan Black Metal Scanwich Chef
A panel about silly Internet cooking shows; could be amusing, if that’s your thing. The notable omission of the Epic Mealtime dorks will make this much less appealing to the undesirable internet bacon bozo demographic, thankfully. [Go for it]
11 AM | Fangirl Culture
Every media property of even moderate popularity will inspire thousands of weirdoes to produce thousands of stories about — and drawings of — the main characters humping in every possible configuration. They take this pursuit incredibly seriously, so things could get heated; there may be spittle. [Highly recommended]
1:30 PM | The GIFs that Keep On GIFing
They’re actually kinda right about this one: the animated GIF is an art form unique to the Internet, worthy of some kind of study. Carry on, ROFLCon; you finally got one. [Not horseshit, amazingly]
3 PM | Honey I Memed The Kids
Remember the YouTube clip of the little kid who got super high at the dentist and freaked out on the car ride home? Hear all about how his life is destroyed forever. [Horseshit]
3 PM | Adventures in Aca-Meme-ia
An exploration of the emerging field of scholarly meme research; i.e., ROFLCon trying to justify its own existence. Cool, now that we’ve cured cancer and written all the good novels, it’s a totally worthwhile pursuit to get a PhD in lolcats. Fuck off. [Horseshit]
