• Check the closet for appropriately warm clothing. Realize the warmest sweater I have is one with Morrissey's face embroidered on it; get pretty embarassed at the idea of Pitbull seeing me in that.

• Run a few mental bear-survival scenarios. Most important question: can I run faster than Pitbull?

• Brush up on the Pitbull oeuvre. The "Bon Bon" video is pretty dope; consider asking Pitbull not to invite all those scantily-clad ladies along, or I'll just stand around blushing the whole time.

• Check up on Pitbull's entourage. Are there any spots open? Could this be a tryout for a more permanent gig?

• Come up with a polite way to ask Pitbull and Walmart if this is, uh, an all-expenses thing. If not, maybe drop some hints to my Phoenix editors that I'm a little light. Guys? Hello? I know you're reading this, because theoretically you have to. Oh, just gonna ignore me, huh?

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