Actually, if the option of a man-man match is on the table, I have a much better suggestion: Scooter Braun, his dashing young manager. If you've watched the Justin Bieber movie or read any Braun interview, it's clear that Scoots yearns tragically for the lad, whether he's admitted it to himself or not. Lay aside all this Taylor Swift dream-couple fluff: the thought of Scooter and Justin, two crazy kids, hand in glove since the early days, finally locking eyes across the dressing room and realizing they were meant for one another. . . .

That's a love story for the ages.

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Related: The Big Hurt: Leanin' With Biebs, The Big Hurt: Bieber dolls are coming!, The Big Hurt: The torments of Phil, plus Biebs's 'stache, Simpson's Snoop poop, More more >
  Topics: Big Hurt , The Big Hurt, Selena Gomez, breakup,  More more >
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