The Big Hurt: Fire sales

By DAVID THORPE  |  March 4, 2008

Misleading headline of the week: “Paparazzi Arrested Shooting BRITNEY SPEARS, LINDSAYLOHAN.”

I never thought I’d be giving the Maxim crew kudos for their journalistic chops, but I’m proud of them this week. They got busted for giving the new BLACK CROWES album a negative review without having listened to the whole thing. As the review went to press, the album wasn’t even done, and the magazine had been sent only one track. Maxim explained that the review was an “educated guess.” Sounds reasonable to me. Anyone who has to listen to a Black Crowes album to tell you it’s a piece of shit has no business being a critic.

A puckish PAUL MCCARTNEY made off with one of the giant decorative Brit Award statues backstage at the recent ceremony. Delightful prank from quirky old dear, or further evidence of senior shoplifting epidemic? Either way: “Oh, you!”

In other Paul news: he said that recording at Abbey Road Studios brings him closer to his Beatles past. “JOHN [LENNON] and GEORGE [HARRISON] aren’t here, so when you go to Abbey Road, that’s the nearest [to a Beatles reunion] that I’m gonna get.” I’m delighted to see that, like the rest of us, he’s stopped acknowledging that RINGO’s still alive.

A JAKOB DYLAN solo album!? Fuck me! Where do I stand in line?

Remember, junior newshounds: you can send your hot scoops to!

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