The Big Hurt: Jammin’ with Nordstrom

Living guy sells out; dead guy sells out; living guys die
By DAVID THORPE  |  April 1, 2008

“I am stoked to collaborate with Nordstrom,” said FALL OUT BOY’s PETE WENTZ in a recent press release. It seems that a new line of Wentz-designed clothing is to be sold in the retail chain: “We’ve always aspired to create one-of-a-kind garments with an æsthetic that warrants national exposure, and Nordstrom is the perfect fit.” There are two options here: Pete Wentz actually uttered the words “I am stoked to collaborate with Nordstrom” or else some PR dork fabricated the quote on his behalf (common practice, FYI). I invite you to decide for yourself which option reflects better on Pete’s credibility as an artist.

Meanwhile, “bad weather” forced Fall Out Boy to cancel a flight to play a show in Antarctica. No shit? If you’re wondering why they were playing there, it seems they were trying to break a record or prove a point or something. Who knows why they do anything, really.

Snaggle-toothed crime scene AMY WINEHOUSE has posed for almost-nude photos (with duct tape over what might be considered the good bits) as part of a campaign to make people aware of breast cancer, or maybe just of breasts in general. No erections could be reached for comment.

Rapper FABOLOUS has hinted that his next album will be inspired by a motion picture, à la Jay-Z’s American Gangster. Fabo to “I always wanted to touch on this particular movie musically because I felt some of the things in the movie related to me and to lots of other people. I always wanted to use a theme for my album, like how Jay used AmericanGangster because he saw a character that was relatable to him.” Here’s the tricky bit: he’s not saying which movie and character inspired him yet, so we’re left to guess. I’m crossing my fingers for a hip-hop album based on Ned Beatty’s role in Deliverance.

If you had any plans involving the drummer of Abba, the singer of hair-metal act Bonham, the inventor of the mambo, or the Beatles’ former manager, you’d better cancel them. If you had plans involving all four, stay the fuck away from me, because you’re bad luck.

Insufferable milquetoast CHRIS MARTIN has announced that the new Coldplay album shall be called Viva la Vida, after a Frida Kahlo painting. He denies that the title is in any way related to the work of his famous brother, Ricky.

BUSTA RHYMES has been sentenced to three years probation for drunk driving and assault indiscretions. Which means that there will be, for the first time in ages, someone paying attention to what Busta Rhymes is doing.

From the say-it-ain’t-so file: VELVET REVOLVER might break up. Dry my tears, mama. Reports allege that recently sobered-up Scott Weiland was in sour spirits during a performance in Glasgow, announcing that the tour would be the band’s last, then throwing down his mic and leaving the stage. In a gently backhanded blog entry, drummer Matt Sorum commented: “Unfortunately, some people in this business don’t realize how great of a life they have . . . sometimes the road can be draining for some. Being away from home and family does grind on you sometimes. . . . Everybody could see who was unhappy last night, but all I can say is let’s keep the rock alive, people!”

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