The big hurt: Music news in brief

Wal-Mart wanes, Satan wins, Weiland whines
By DAVID THORPE  |  April 15, 2008

Those of us still chuckling over DMX’s “your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack” diatribe are in for another dose of ill-informed rapper cuteness. In a recent interview with the Guardian, SNOOP DOGG broke a scandalous story: “The KKK gave Obama money. They was one of his biggest supporters.” This quote quickly spread to all sorts of news outlets, even getting to the point where Obama dignified it with a denial. Although few articles bothered to speculate on where Snoop might be getting his information, I’m guessing it was from a satirical article and popular e-mail forward that claims the KKK is supporting Obama because anyone is better than Hillary. Get it? Even though he’s part black. Get it?

Sketchy funding allegations aside, most coverage of the Snoop quote failed to mention that he was, in general, pretty pro-Obamic.

Wal-Mart, America’s longstanding Garth Brooks teat, has lost its status as our top music retailer. That title has been claimed by Apple’s iTunes store, largely on the strength of our girlfriends buying FEIST songs. “We launched iTunes less than five years ago, and it has now become the number one music retailer in the world,” said iTunes VP Eddie Cue. “We are thrilled to provide this unprecedented conduit between your girlfriend and Feist.”

Apple beware: MySpace is about to launch a music-download service of its own. The hundred-million-strong social network is poised to gobble up significant bits of the iTunes market share by creating a streamlined system to deliver MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE to your shithead little brother.

Here’s a whole new kind of objection to Guitar Hero: country-rocker CHARLIE DANIELS is complaining about the use of his hit “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” in the video game. Why? Because the Devil can win if you aren’t good enough to best his fiddlin.’ In a post on his Web site, Daniels explains: “I would never grant permission for some company to create a video-game version of a song I wrote in which the devil wins a contest, and I’m sorely disappointed with the company who owns the copyright for not policing the situation. As it is, they have allowed these people to violate the very essence of the song.” Daniels is powerless to erect any legal roadblocks, having lost the rights to the song years ago (in a fiddling contest with the Devil, I gather). “Pray for our troops,” he added.

Former musician PETE DOHERTY has been sentenced to a few months in jail for whatever it is he does. Can anyone still muster a shit?

MARIAH CAREY recently surpassed ELVIS PRESLEY’s record for the most US #1 singles by a solo artist. You may have felt a mild disturbance in the Force, as though a million rock fans had halfheartedly tried to figure a way to get outraged about it and then given up.

NEIL YOUNG, who for the past several decades has delighted in nothing so much as frustrating and thwarting his fans, is up to his old tricks. Rather than finalizing the release of his long-awaited Archives Vol. 1 box set, he’s announced that he’ll issue the fruitless and abandoned recording sessions for a planned 2000 album with CRAZY HORSE. According to Neil’s own Web site, “If you asked Crazy Horse about these sessions, you would learn that it was a depressing atmosphere and things were not going well. The band recorded there for months and came up with very little.” Yes, thanks, we’d much rather buy that than any of your legendary shelved albums (Chrome Dreams), long-unavailable greats (Time Fades Away), or classic unreleased material. Did I already say “Thanks”? Because, “Thanks.”

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