There are two things about this job that really fill me with joy: first, seeing an artist hit a new low; second, a really fucking terrible press release. When I’m lucky, I get both at once. Check this out: for years, SNOOP DOGG’s credibility has been like a loose tooth hanging from a little fleshy string, and he’s finally stopped worrying it with his tongue and just popped the sucker out. The news that he’s set to appear in two episodes of the daytime soap One Life To Live (and rework its themesong) is bad enough on its own, but the accompanying PR quote puts PETE WENTZ’s recent “stoked to collaborate with Nordstrom” line to shame: “I’ve been a fan of One Life To Live since I was a baby. My momma always had it on the tube in the crib growing up. The opportunity to change up the themesong and give it some of my flavor will make the show the Life of the Party.”
All right, guys, let’s think about this: do you believe Snoop really, actually spoke those words? Do you think he really ended his quote with a delightful pun on one of his song titles, exactly like a fucking PR agent would do? Yuh-huh.
And one more for the road:
“US REAL QUEENS IS SOOO TIRED OF U TALKING BOUT UR ASS!!! WE ALL KNOW DAT IT IS AS RAGGEDY AS A MANGO SEED!!!!”
: Big Hurt
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