Euphoria! This is it. The Big News. The one we’ve all been waiting for. EDDIE MONEY is finally doing what God put him on this earth to do: he’s recording a C&W album featuring twanged-out covers of his best-known classics. Yeah, so maybe it was second on our lists after the Beatles re-forming, but it was a very close second.

Anguish! ZAK STARKEY, that tenuous thread that connected Oasis to the Beatles, has split the scene. Can the band possibly survive for another decade without their famously named replacement-replacement drummer? And where now for the man who looks like a perfect cross between his father and Nigel Tufnel?

Sensual bliss! KEVIN SHIELDS has remastered MY BLOODY VALENTINE’s masterpiece Loveless for a new re-release. From the original analogue tapes, Shields has used cutting-edge technology to dig out lost clumps of hairy guitar mold previously hidden under layers upon layers of shoegaze cobweb.

Soul-racking ambivalence! We all thought NAS was gonna pull off the Nigger gambit, but alas — finally bowing to pressure from pretty much everyone, he’s dropped the controversial album name and left the record untitled. On the bright side, maybe stores will stock it and people will actually hear it.

Says God’s Son: “It’s important to me that this album gets to the fans. The people will always know what the real title of this album is and what to call it.” Hear that, everyone? Permission granted. Say it aloud in mixed company.

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