The Arctic Monkeys, "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" (mp3)
The Arctic Monkeys, "Mardy Bum (demo)" (mp3)
Going ape for the Arctic Monkeys. By Mike Miliard
Britflops: Five limey hypes that failed
1. Robbie Williams | Jaunty ex-boy-band song-and-dance man, huge in UK, vast worldwide sales, can’t get arrested in US. Horrible 1998 single “Millennium” went to #1 over there but peaked at #72 over here.
2. Embrace | The missing link between Oasis and Coldplay. Stadium-scale emo-swagger = no hits.
3. Northern Uproar | The paradigmatic post-Oasis dud. Lads in rainwear, shambling about, failed to make a dent. Dark Secret: first single “Rollercoaster” is not bad at all.
4. Menswear | Coked-up mods hurriedly signed in Blur-inspired frenzy. Preened, twanged, disappeared suddenly, as if through a trapdoor. The arc of their destruction was actually quite sobering.
5. TBA | As hacks and whores scour the length and breadth of Britain for the next Arctic Monkeys, an as-yet-unnamed group of future losers, in a rehearsal room somewhere, are arguing over the length of a guitar solo. Watch ’em go!