Please release me

By DAVID THORPE  |  June 24, 2008

Speaking as a non-parent, I can only assume that the fun part about having a child is imposing your tastes upon it, so the music played during the birth of my baby should be a very personal and emotionally significant album chosen with the utmost care. I’m thinking Big Black’s Songs About Fucking.

On the bright side, all sales of this abomination benefit the March of Dimes, a charity that’s been cited for its bureaucratic bloat. You’re probably better off just visiting a maternity ward and handing 16 bucks to the most jaundiced baby you see.

iXoundWear (Hats for iPod®) Announces Caps for iPod® Nano 3rd Generation Available for Sale
iXoundWear products target an active audience, people who love to exercise with their iPod®, but hate the hassle of wires. All of the latest caps feature: patent-pending wire management system, player pocket, earphone loops and internal sweatband.

Now that those white earbud cords are too ubiquitous to function as a signifier of yuppie dorkness, Florida company iXoundWear has created a novel way to listen to music while looking like an incredible tit. The iXoundWear folks have been marketing a line of hats with built-in iPod pockets, meaning that (a) an electronic device is protruding awkwardly from your hat; (b) you have to reach up and tap on your skull to switch tracks; (c) muggers can just grab the bill of your hat and yoink!; (d) the earbuds hang down from your patent-pending headgear in a manner reminiscent of those party-animal beer hats with the built-in straws.

I urge you to visit and bear witness to one of the most tragic cranial fiascos ever thrust upon mankind.

< prev  1  |  2  | 
Related: Kenny Chesney, The power of love, Backed the f*** up, More more >
  Topics: Music Features , Celebrity News, Digital Music Players, Kenny Chesney,  More more >
| More

Most Popular
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   THE BIG HURT: LUPE’S CAREER CHANGE  |  March 19, 2013
    You may have already had a big luxurious eye roll at celebrities as "creative directors" of companies ...
  •   WHO CHARTED: SMOOTH JAZZ SONGS  |  March 12, 2013
    If you dig deep enough into's genre charts, past the foreign hits, past the Latin and Christian stuff and the MySpace streaming charts, you'll find one last afterthought: Smooth Jazz.
    In her long career of pushing boundaries, Madonna has run afoul of some of the world's most powerful institutions.
  •   THE BIG HURT: DIVING IN THE PR DUMPSTER  |  February 26, 2013
    I've been dumpster diving in the PR bin, the rankest receptacle of music industry waste, and I've come up with a dripping fistful of the month's hottest garbage.
  •   THE BIG HURT: LEANIN' WITH BIEBS  |  February 20, 2013
    Bieber was allegedly photographed sipping something from a double Styrofoam cup, in close proximity to a big bottle of codeine cough syrup. This can only add up to one thing: lean . That purple drank, the laudanum of Screw, the deadly nectar of Pimp C.

 See all articles by: DAVID THORPE