World War III

By DAVID THORPE  |  June 30, 2008

Taco Bell has extended a bizarre offer to 50 CENT: if he’ll change his name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent, or 99 Cent for a limited time, they’ll give $10,000 to a charity of his choice. It’s a reference to their new value menu, you see. Har-har. This, like Dr. Pepper’s offer to give a free soda to everyone in America if Chinese Democracy was released this year, is one of those idiotic PR stunts designed to get picked up as an item in worthless “wacky news” columns and — hey, wait . . .

50 Cent’s management has further spread the word by dignifying the offer with a reply, threatening to sic their lawyers on Taco Bell for abusing the rapper’s good name.

KID ROCK, citing terrible rates paid to artists from digital sales, has decided to boycott iTunes. I have mixed emotions. On one hand, iTunes has been ripping off artists for years and needs to cut it out already. On the other hand, as a vehicle for Kid Rock non-delivery, it is flawless.

AMY WINEHOUSE has been hospitalized with what appear to be the early stages of emphysema, which may or may not be related to her striking resemblance to Joe Camel. The condition, though serious, may clear up over time if she starts living clean. (I mean the emphysema, not the Joe Camel thing; she’s stuck with that.)

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