Holy shit, actual press-release headline this week: “Progressive Rock Band Influenced by Gandhi Releases Songs Addressing World Issues.” TRUTH ON EARTH are a group of teen girls who, with an undercurrent of extreme parental supervision, write heavy-handed songs about the evils of war, starvation, and the mainstream media. From the release, unadulterated:

“We have all seen devastating pictures of abuse, starvation, homeless, effects of war, but never have been unified with music in a way, until now, that reaches the listener’s core level, creating feelings that pictures alone can’t and that allows for the proper contribution,” stated the band members.

Stated the band members? I’m picturing them reciting it in unison, like some kind of creepy oath. I swear, that’s the greatest press-release line since Pete Wentz’s “I am stoked to collaborate with Nordstrom.” The whole package is similarly hilarious, but I’d better stop now — this column appears on the Web, so I’m treading close to cyberbullying, a subject that’s poignantly addressed in the track “Shot with a Bulletless Gun.” Lyrics:

Back in the day was a time/When life was simpler and/Folks came face to face to deal with their differences. I’m told/By philosophers that change is a good thing except when that change hides out in a room brewing evil ideas that belong to a criminal mind.

It’s like they know me.

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