You’ve probably heard about how a drunken Canadian fan got up on stage during an Oasis show in Toronto and just — DOINK! — toppled NOEL GALLAGHER like a domino. You’ve probably seen the clip on YouTube as well — it’s easily the best music video since the heyday of Michel Gondry. Anyway, Noel is still recuperating from his injuries, and he cancelled a recent NYC concert. That’s all the actual news I have to report on this subject, but I’m banking on the idea that Noel still injured = still funny.
The attacker’s name, address, and phone number were leaked to the Internet days after the attack, with angry Oasis fans crying for his blood. I tried contacting the assailant for a quick interview but he didn’t return my calls. If you’re reading this, Canadian guy, please take pride in the fact that you are — and so close to the anniversary of September 11, I do not use the word lightly — a hero. I had a theory that you were the physical manifestation of the zeitgeist, but then a friend reminded me that the zeitgeist stopped giving a shit about Oasis 10 years ago.
A new JOHN LENNON bio penned by rock writer Philip Norman alleges that the ex-Beatle harbored homosexual desires for PAUL MCCARTNEY. Quick to shed light on the rumors, Sir Paul talked to the Sun about his history with Lennon: “I slept with him a million times.” Actual quote. Paul really said it. Can’t sue me.
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MEN AT WORK — best known for their 1983 hit "Down Under" — have just had their pants sued off by a dead schoolmarm and her 78-year-old Girl Scout song.
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If you're a musician looking to break into the big leagues, now's your chance.
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Would that I could simply post the entire lyric to “Miracles” by INSANE CLOWN POSSE and call it an article.
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You know, I might stop following real music journalism altogether. Press releases are so much better. Just when I start thinking it’s a slow week in silly pop news, I check the PR wire — a/k/a the bottom of the barrel — and dig up two of the greatest items I’ve ever seen .
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I think I’d be a much happier person if I disabused myself of all my quaint expectations about artistic integrity.
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If you thought Sex Pistols Perfume was the unlikeliest endorsement I'd lay on you this month, think again.
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Platinum shenanigans
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I got up this morning filled with a furious hatred of alt-rock — I was tossing and turning half the night with Third Eye Blind's "Semicharmed Life" stuck in my head, a torment I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
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The week in inessential press releases
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