This story probably seems well beneath my usual lofty standards of reportage, but one thing about it lodged deep in my craw: the hilarious CNN.com article it spawned. Check out the first line: "Guns N' Roses became Guns N' Roses N' Lawyers this week." Ha! Get it? Because they have lawyers! If you're worried that the joke is over, fear not. They belabor up a masterful callback a few paragraphs later: "That's when GN'R became GN'RN'L. Soriano fired off a letter to Dr P. No one is LOL." Correction: no one is "LOL" ("lollin' on line") except millions of highly amused CNN readers! Seems these yuksters are about to put me out of a job with their primo zingers.

If you happen to be in LA this month and you're in the mood for some hideous rock-and-roll cabaret, be sure to check out alt-rock "supergroup" CAMP FREDDY, who delight audiences with "a treasure trove of classic songs encompassing the best of glam, punk, and hard rock." A glimpse at their horrifying press release reveals a stellar line-up of has-beens and kinda-weres: MATT SORUM, DAVE NAVARRO, A DUDE WHO WAS IN THE CULT FOR A YEAR, and DONOVAN'S SON. But that's not all! The release also piques your curiosity with the promise of even shittier special surprise guests — they're not tryna brag or anything, but their previous shows have been attended by the illustrious likes of Tommy Lee, Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme, the dude from Fuel, Paul Stanley, and Slash.

With all this rock-and-roll mischief, you're probably a little worried that this affair isn't "on the level." Don't worry, kids! You can rest easy, because Camp Freddy is anchored by a reputable corporate sponsor: "All the gigs will be presented by the band's good friends at Rockaholic, the new product from premier hair-product maker Bed Head."

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