CHRIS BROWN has entered a plea of not guilty to the charge of lady beating. Sorry, pal, you've already been convicted in the court of public opinion. Now you're gonna go straight to the prison of public opinion and enjoy a tender moment with your demented, Simon Adebisi–like cellmate of public opinion.

I'm pretty mad at that band AMAZING BABY for not actually being an amazing baby. Their music is okay, but if it were produced entirely by a lone baby, that would be an amazing baby. We haven't had any proper infant pop stars since Jordy, and his material is — I'm gonna catch hell for saying this — pretty dated by now.

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