6. SAVING ABEL, "DROWNING (FACE DOWN)" | Let's put the music aside, because it's not worth mentioning. The record cover, on the other hand, shows a woman's torso with a tramp-stamp tattoo of the band's name. Not only is this a ridiculous bit of presumption — "We're so cool that people might tattoo our band's logo on their bodies, just like how we Photoshopped it on this model" — but it's a cover idea so lame that it's already been used by Dishwalla.

7. DROWNING POOL, "37 STITCHES" | As we go to press, this bad boy has been clinging to the charts for 37 weeks — one for every stitch — and I can only guess it's under the auspices of some kind of pork lobby, because it has an awful lot of ham-related lyrics: "I know you are the only one/A little taste of ham/You know I am the only one/Ya better taste the ham."

DAVID THORPE | dthorpe@phx.com

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