The MySpace news feed kicked out a pretty sick rhyme the other day: "SHANIA TWAIN: I've been inspired by my pain."

The video of BRET MICHAELS getting conked in the noggin by a Looney Tunes–style falling object at the Tony Awards has given me such pleasure over the past few weeks that I'm beginning to experience some spiritual discomfort. On the one hand, I know it's wrong to laugh at an injury to another human being, especially in slow motion. On the other, the existence of Bret Michaels proves that there is no moral order to the universe.

Michaels, who suffered facial injuries and great loss of dignity from the mishap, was only a split-second dodge away from having his head crushed like a watermelon in another fucking Gallagher joke.


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