The Big Hurt: ''Losing'' news in brief

Aerosmith lose Joe; A-Ha lose everybody; Diddy loses bling; Corgan just loses it
By DAVID THORPE  |  October 27, 2009

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AEROSMITH’s disastrous summer of canceled tours and geriatric folly has taken its toll on guitarist Joe Perry, who recently told MTV that the band were on “indefinite hiatus” — which is music-industry slang for “I hate Steven Tyler.” Perry won’t be sitting it out, however: he’s indulging in a nice little solo record (and a November 14 show at the House of Blues) with the Joe Perry Project — which promises to be precisely what it sounds like.

And I hope all those disappointed Aerosmith ticketholders weren’t planning to seek refuge in the arms of another embarrassing group of tight-pantsed autoparodists, since DEF LEPPARD are also canceling their upcoming tour. In their case it’s for undisclosed personal reasons. (Artistic mercy, perhaps?)

We’ve also received the shocking news that A-HA will be splitting up after their current tour. At least they seem to be going out on a positive note. “We’ve literally lived the ultimate boy’s adventure tale,” said singer Morgblurgen Hoegetskaadt, I presume while rafting down the Mississippi with a runaway slave.

It’s not all bust-ups and cancelations: GARTH BROOKS — better known to us rock-and-rollers as the mysterious Chris Gaines — will be coming out of retirement for a long-term concert residency at the Wynn in Vegas. Actually, I’m not sure a Vegas engagement counts as “coming out of retirement” — it’s more like a symbolic passing of the artist into spiritual death.

AMY WINEHOUSE, according to her father, has now been drug-free for a year. Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard anything about Amy Winehouse for a year.

P DIDDY made it rain a little harder than he bargained for during a recent appearance on BET’s 106 & Park — while throwing money into the crowd, he accidentally tossed out his $20,000 diamond ring and then called on his security team to frisk the crowd in a failed attempt to reclaim it. “A lot of people askin about a ring I lost,” he explained via Twitter. “Yes I did. And that’s ok. I lose things too. You win some you lose some My loss is anothers gain. Its ok to lose things because it makes you appreciate what you still have! I didn’t like that ring any way! Lol lol let’s goooooo!”

I don’t even know why I bothered to make fun of that, though, since the New York Post has come up with a fucking meteoric quip slam that’ll bury Diddy for a thousand years: “Just call him P. Dopey.” Yeah, that’s why those Post dudes make the big bucks.

JON BON JOVI’s set to be a guest on Inside the Actors Studio. Even for James Lipton, this one’s gonna be a hell of a stretch — BJ’s last film role was National Lampoon’s Pucked, and that’s not the least prestigious thing on his résumé. This brilliant idea was cooked up by NBC Universal, which has essentially bought the band Bon Jovi and will now use them as it sees fit; they’ll be popping up on the Today show four times in November, and they’ll also be the subject of a special on the affiliated USA Network.

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