" 'The Black Eyed Peas grab your attention with their distinct talent, individual flavors, and creative experimentation with music. BACARDI Rum also believes that the energy never dies when you surround yourself with good friends, great music, and an exceptional spirit,' said John Esposito, president and CEO of Bacardi U.S.A., Inc."

I love this stuff. When I die, I want a third-rate corporate PR agent to write my obituary: "Much like the TRISCUITS he loved so well, David Thorpe brought a healthy, snackable crunch to our lives!"

At the Hollywood Walk of Fame's recent 50th-anniversary shindig, whimsical Beatles drummer RINGO finally got his own star — or should I say STARR? — on the . . .

Oh, I shouldn't? Well, fuck it, I'm out of jokes, then.

DAVID THORPE | dthorpe@phx.com

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