Indeed, it's tempting to go to White's show, look at his girth, and snicker, "This is ridiculous. When will it stop?" But according to David Buss, author of The Evolution of Desire (Basic Books, 1994), such chortling stems from ignorance, not fact. Females, he asserts, have long sought after males with proven ability to satisfy appetites (food shelter, safety, what have you). Thus, though White's impressive ability to feed himself may not be a cardiovascular boon, it does evince a certain fitness.

Conclusion

After wrapping up my research, I called my brother, "It's true," I reported. "Barry is phat" I tried for the ph sound) "and he is 50. But analyze is any way you want." I rattled off the categories – evolutionary biology, linguistics, psychology, musicology, street anthology, heft. "The man's a catch."

And with that, I hung up the phone. I also cranked up "Love's Theme" and poured a glass of champagne. Seems my hard-nosed research didn't change much. I'm still in love with Barry; he's still wrecking my life. Only difference is, I've now got full scientific license to swoon and revel and sigh and dream. So that's what I intended to do, bask in Barry forever&ldots;or at least until Lyle arrives with his Large Band.

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  Topics: Flashbacks , Barry White, Barry White, Love Unlimited Orchestra,  More more >
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