Profiles in frottage

The EDC strikes out; 'A massage that went awry'; Refudiating Palin
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  July 28, 2010

P+J_38s_logo_main
Frottage, noun: masturbation by rubbing up against another person.

Now that you have a great addition to your naughty little vocabulary, it's time to recognize some of those special Vo Dilunduhs who reared their little heads (and pardon us for that unpleasant allusion) this past week and clearly have earned the designation as "profiles in frottage."

All the members of the board of the Rhode Island Economic Development Corporation (save Karl Wadensten), stand up and take a bow (wow). Your decision to fork over fully three-fifths of the $125 million the Biggest Little has set aside for guaranteed loans to high tech and "knowledge-based" companies to a single firm qualifies as a "profile in frottage" because the Head Ramrod of the company, 38 Studios LLC, is former Red Sox ace, Curt Schilling.

If it was "Curt Schmitlapp" who offered this to the state, do ya think the EDC would go for it?

One of the more, shall we say, ironic elements of this ill-conceived "investment" is the fact that Bloody Sock boy has been an outspoken right-wing Republican for some time, the type who regularly rails against government waste and champions "free enterprise." Free enterprise sure is free when the public is paying the bill, huh Curt?

P+J agree with the many, many others who say that a company that, up until a few days ago, had no products on the market, no real collateral and is seeking to play in a highly competitive (and risky) industry, is not exactly a canny investment for the gamers at EDC. There are, however some mitigating facts for the Governor and EDC board supporters; a) it's not their money and, b) Curt said "Trust me." Hey, what else do you need?

All that said, it appears that the deed is done and so we are hoping that the 38 Studios venture is a great success. Schilling promises that the company will be able to bring 450 new jobs to the Biggest Little — good-paying, high quality jobs — before the end of 2012. We sure hope so and we would love to be proven wrong by Mr. Schilling, Mr. Carcieri, and EDC chief Keith Stokes.

Meanwhile, we hope that all the celebrity-enablers on the EDC board, after looking up "frottage" in their Merriam-Websters, check to see if there's a definition for the hyphenate "knowledge-based" as well.


PROFILES IN DAMAGE

We had nearly forgotten about the Reverend Ted Haggard when he popped up this past weekend, profiled in the Wall Street Journal. He explained that he believes he "over-repented" for his sexual assignation with one Mike Jones — an assignation that included buying meth from the admitted male prostitute.

Jones says that the sexual relationship between the pair went on for three years. And there is quite a bit of evidence to back his claim. But Ted says it's untrue and, in the Journal article, describes his involvement with both Mr. Jones and meth amphetamine as "a massage that went awry." The WSJ also reported that the Reverend Ted offered this observation: "Tiger Woods needs to golf. Michael Vick needs to be playing football. Ted Haggard needs to be leading a church." We'd say that a religious "leader" who equates a spiritual calling with golf and football is a special person indeed, obviously in tune with the mysterious ways in which God works.

1  |  2  |  3  |   next >
Related: The moron minority, Sarah Palin wilts as Glenn Beck self-destructs, Obama on the Vineyard, More more >
  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , Media, Curt Schilling, Ted Haggard,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY PHILLIPE AND JORGE
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   ONE FINE LADY  |  April 16, 2014
    Nuala Pell was a woman whom Phillipe and Jorge liked, admired, and respected, and we are saddened by her death this week at the age of 89.
  •   MAN OF MORE THAN LETTERS  |  April 09, 2014
    Peter Matthiessen, one of the greatest American writers of his generation and a longtime hero to Phillipe and Jorge, passed away on April 5.
  •   THE GOOD NEWS  |  April 02, 2014
    We like to highlight the inspiring things that occasionally happen in the Biggest Little.
  •   VOTE THEM ALL OUT!  |  March 26, 2014
    Rhode Island’s newly-christened Speaker of the House, Rep. Nicholas Mattiello (D-Cranston), makes Phillipe and Jorge think of someone who, if you went mountain climbing with him and if you started to fall, would be sawing with a knife furiously at the safety line connecting you in case you might take him down with you.
  •   DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?  |  March 12, 2014
    The story of the Prius stolen from Mrs. Clay Pell — aka Michelle Kwan — has reached farcical proportions.

 See all articles by: PHILLIPE AND JORGE