"The more ridiculous the better. If you try to be the best, no one will like you," Kuhn said.
The game isn't taken too seriously. Rules (or rooles for fools) are constantly in flux; however bribery is strongly encouraged as the Web site states, "Open corruption is the only fairness Providence has ever known." Umpires will often make calls in favor of kickballers who retrieve beers for them promptly.
"The rules are don't be a jerk and no whining," said Kuhn. "PKL loves you."
PROVIDENCE ROLLER DERBY
The fliers are all over town. But in case you haven't heard, Providence Roller Derby is a hot commodity. The all-female ensemble takes to the roller rink to compete against teams in state and abroad. This summer, The Rhode Island Riveters played a team from London.
The Riveters are considered the state's finest; they travel up and down the east coast into Canada. Another travel team dubbed Killah Bees also travels into New York and Pennsylvania. Three other home teams compete on home turf.
And these ladies thrash. According to derby marketer and skater Donna Lee Gennaro, aka Hell Cat Lucy, the injuries can be gruesome. Collarbones are split. Limbs are run over. She remembers one player who had her finger reconstructed with pins.
"It was really gross," she said.
And while most of the ladies are friendly, the referees are needed to keep tempers in check.
"It can be really intense," she said.
Currently there are about 50 skaters in the league. But Gennaro is seeing a rise in interest from women of all ages – partially due to the coming of age film "Whip It." But she said most women tend to drop off once they get the full impact of the sport.
"And then they get hit. They realize it's not for them," she said.
Most bouts are held at the Providence Convention Center but most winter activity occurs in Narragansett.
THE RHODE ISLAND SCHOOL OF DESIGN (RISD) NADS
RISD's hockey team may be one of the few club sports in the state that has genitals as a mascot. Known as "Scrotie," the life-size foam penis skates around the rink garnering support from the fans and cheerleaders nicknamed "Jockstraps."
But the team that boasts to have Buddy Cianci as a former coach isn't alone in its bawdy behavior. Last summer, Narragansett Beer got its clam mascot to come out for a game.
"It was predicted hilarity would ensue. And it did," said Nads player and RISD alum Paul Osimo. "They skated and made sweet love to each other."
To show their wild enthusiasm, fans are known to throw frozen hot dogs onto the rink — though the gesture is sometimes misguided. Osimo remembers a time one of the meat products hit his neck mid-play. And there are location casualties. Often times the ice is streaked pink after a Zamboni machine runs over the edible refuse. Osimo does not have a foreseeable solution to the problem.
"It's no one's job to clean hot dogs from the rink," he said.
A fair warning to potential participants: the fans are known to throw more than hot dogs. Insults are doled out in stride and get straight to the point. Common Nads phrases are, "You look like a penis in your helmet" and "Nads are your dads, we fucked your mom," said goalie and RISD alum Sam Keller.