Mr. Moore is back online, with an apology from the corporate paranoiacs.

JOCKULAR

Wasn’t it a thing of beauty to see fat-mouthed, fat-assed New York Jets coach Rex Ryan put sautéed crow on top of his usual 10 pounds of breakfast pork when his team, which he said is bound for Super Bowl glory, got their assess whipped in front of a national audience on Monday Night Football by the Baltimore Ravens?

And for all the forced comparisons in the Big Apple media to Broadway Joe Namath, Jets QB “Bowery Mark” Sanchez looked as much like an NFL starting quarterback as Michelle Wie.

Of course, we’ve got problems in Patriots Nation, too. Randy Moss has an ego bigger than Chris Young and John Boehner’s combined. With a victory over the Cincinnati Bengals conjuring images of the glory days, here was one of our star receivers (behind Our Wesley, of course) complaining he isn’t loved because the front office has failed to offer a contract stuffed with enough money to choke a Clydesdale. The advice to Moss from Casa Diablo is short and sweet: Shut the fuck up and catch the ball.

CHURCH LADIES

Old friend Andy Burkhardt recently sprayed the e-mail grapevine with the following howlers culled from church bulletins. Read them and pray they continue:
•   Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
•   A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
•   At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
•   Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
•   The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
•   Ladies’ Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
•   Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
•   Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
•   The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge — Up Yours.”

JOURNALISM THAT MATTERS

While there’s always unique and worthwhile reporting in the Phoenix, P+J try to read as much of the local and national press as we can. We’ve always believed that the two best regular columnists in Vo Dilun are the BeloJo’s Bob Kerr and Jim Baron of the Pawtucket Times. Due to the fact that the Times has a narrower local base, we suspect that fewer people are aware of Mr. Baron’s work. But they should be.

< prev  1  |  2  |  3  |   next >
  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , Politics, Jerry Kapstein, Our Little Towne,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY PHILLIPE AND JORGE
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   PINKY (AND THE PROJO'S) CHANGING WORLD  |  September 17, 2014
    Are things "pretty good" or at an all-time low on Fountain St?
  •   WINNAHS AND LOSAHS  |  September 10, 2014
    Here is P&J’s take on the primary results.
  •   SO LONG, BOB  |  September 03, 2014
    Well, it didn’t take long for that shoe to drop.
  •   PRIMARY SHADES OF GREY  |  August 27, 2014
    Your superior correspondents give their unrequested thoughts on the political races.
  •   OH, REALLY?  |  August 20, 2014
    The New York Times  recently ran an item titled “Welcome to Rhode Island, America’s Least Polarized State.”

 See all articles by: PHILLIPE AND JORGE