All in Phillipe And Jorge

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Phillipe And Jorge

Workplace weirdness

I appreciate that you enjoy reading the column and, while I find that the advice proffered — to firmly refuse to dance — is most certainly sage and thoughtful, it is likely I might have gone another way. My suggestion would be to find a CD with the most annoying, loud, and atonal musical selection, a tune bound to annoy every ear. Or even something simple yet majestically annoying (I'm thinking here of "Merry-Go-Round" by the late Larry "Wildman" Fischer; if you are not familiar with this track, there is a reason why) . Have your own boombox to play the CD and insist that you will only dance to this music. Crank it up good and loud and also demand that the boss dance with you. Jump up and down and thrash about real good. You might shock the hell out of these people and might get it in their heads that the dancing protocol is one step away from bullying. Of course, it's also 50-50 that you will be eased out of your job or outright fired (a truly stupid move on the management's part as you've just achieved a high sales mark). These dance fever aficionados are obviously idiots, so it's really hard for Dr. Lovemonkey to predict their reaction. But you will have at least tossed down the gauntlet and shown that you can double down on their insanity with a more creative brand of your own.