Talk about poor alumni relations.
Boston University is dissing one of its most famous alums, Howard Stern, by inviting his nemesis to speak at this year’s graduation and receive an honorary degree. CBS head honcho Leslie Moonves (whose corporation sued Stern in March, claiming that the radio host hid ﬁnancial details of his Sirius Satellite Radio deal and used CBS airwaves to promote his move) will be gracing Nickerson Field next week, apparently to advise the of 2006 about the beneﬁts of suing former employees, among other topics. (BU declined to comment to the Phoenix on the connection between Moonves and Stern.)
Moonves is just one solider in the celebs-politicos-businessfolk army that will invade Boston during the next few weeks to inspire grads to go out and change the world (while not mentioning the $40 K debt they’ll be shouldering for the next 10 years). Here’s a rundown of who’s coming:
Boston College Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, a/k/a George Bush’s BFF/bathroom supervisor
Tufts University Cycling superhero Lance Armstrong
Berklee College of Music Melissa Etheridge!
Harvard University Online News Hour host Jim Lehrer
Simmons College The woman who made vaginas famous, Eve Ensler
MIT Ben Bernanke, a/k/a Alan Greenspan’s successor
UMass Boston Barack Obama, a/k/a the Democratic Party’s only hope
Brandeis University His Royal Highness El Hassan bin Talal, Jordan’s apparently techno-savvy prince
Northeastern University General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt
Nationally, George W. Bush will offer some Katrina mea culpas by speaking at Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College at Perkinston; he’ll also be at Oklahoma State University, the United States Merchant Marine Academy, and the United States Military Academy. His dad will address Tulane graduates (more Katrina guilt?), while funny lady Laura Bush is scheduled to speak at Roger Williams University in Rhode Island.
Hillary is doing the politically savvy home-state thing at Buffalo State College, Long Island University, and Genesee Community College, while Bill was chosen by Princeton students to speak at “Class Day.”
UPenn gets Jodie Foster, Spike Lee is headed to Kean U in New Jersey, and Billy Joel will be at Syracuse.
Some schools get stuck with real duds: we feel sorry for York College seniors, who’ll have to listen to Kenneth Starr, and for Mississippi State University graduates, who’ll hear from Trent Lott. Or how about the students who got their hopes up that Dr. Stephen Spielberg will be speaking at New Hampshire’s Lebanon College, but then learned that he’s not the guy who directed Jaws? Nor is John Stewart, commencement speaker at Michigan’s Lake Superior State University, the host of The Daily Show.The luckiest grads of all? We think they’re at Knox College in Illinois, where Stephen Colbert will speak on June 3 — with gravitas, with dignity, with balls.