Blackboard jungle

By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  February 9, 2011

Sure, the Steelers were counting on the talents of the disgraced Ben Roethlisberger in the Soopah Bowl, but their secret weapon was a Super Song that came straight from the heart of Pittsburgh's North Side, "Drink Up, Yinz Bitches," by the Olga Watkins Band. (If yinz are familiar with the Steel City, you know it is the vernacular equivalent of Vo Dilun's "youse.")

Reminding P&J of a Dropkick Murphys ditty blaring out of Fenway Park for the Red Sox faithful, "Yinz Bitches" reflects the slightly mad (in all senses of the word) attitude of Steeler fans.

Phillipe spent some time working out at a gym this winter in Pittsburgh, and had he walked in there wearing a Tom Brady jersey or even a Pats logo on any piece of his apparel, he doubtless would have been very quickly up to his neck in floor.

Unfortunately, Olga evidently didn't put enough heart into "Yinz Bitches" to stir the team, and now all the Steelers and Pats' fans have to look forward to is beating fat foot-sucker Rex Ryan's team, the New York Jets, next year.

Get by any way you can, folks.


Since the clapped-out John McCain has announced he will not endorse any candidate in the GOP's 2012 presidential sweepstakes — which is in essence saying to his former veep running mate, nitwit Sarah Palin, go screw a moose — Phillipe and Jorge are prepared to throw down and start airing our preferences for the Republican team that will try to topple President Obama.

(We do feel bad that McCain's legacy has become inflicting Palin on the US public, but he so compromised himself by knuckling under to the GOP right by the end of his campaign that he was bound to look bad, anyway, in the eyes of history.)

There are lots of relative unknowns out there who are wholly unqualified to be commander in chief — Paw-lenty? Paw-leeze! But their dubious credentials won't stop them. A lack of brains and proven incompetence, along with a fabricated resume, seem to be a prerequisite for rising to power in the GOP ranks these days. (Oh, stop sobbing, Boehner, you big girl's blouse.)

Scary Sarah the Publicity Hound shamelessly threw her beehive in the ring the day after the 2008 election results were in. And Mitt Romney chiseled off his hairdo and tossed it in behind Palin's.

The most intriguing name, though, is the wonderfully wild and crazy Tea Partyer Michele Bachmann, who is ready to follow with the tin colander she wears on her head to minimize the damage from those outer-space beams sending her messages.

Bachmann obviously had the aliens talking up a storm after the State of the Union address when she gave her GOP-unauthorized, monster raving loony-certified personal rebuttal to the president.

While Bachmann told the Washington Post, "I never took this as a State of the Union response, necessarily," the copy of the rant provided to the media by her office was "Bachmann's Response to State of the Union." Top that for duplicitous bullshit, Ms. Palin.

Actually, rather than encourage a cat fight, P&J would like to announce today that we will offer our full support to a Palin-Bachmann GOP ticket, throwing our not inconsiderable political weight behind this Dream Team before the legions to follow hop on the rouged-and-ready bandwagon.

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