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MAD MONKEYS

Scientists know that capuchin monkeys can understand and use money — exchanging tokens for food, hoarding tokens, blowing all their tokens on hookers and heroin, etc. So they decided to see if monkey consumers would respond to advertising. They gave a bunch of monkeys two colors of gelatin treats, both "equally delicious," according to test giver and monkey-food taster Keith Olwell. But only one flavor was advertised on a billboard outside the monkeys' enclosure. So far, so good; the only problem: how to sell Jell-O to monkeys? "Monkeys have been shown in previous studies to really love photographs of alpha males and shots of genitals," Olwell said, "and we think this will drive their purchasing habits." Thus, a giant billboard showing monkey muff shots, next to a picture of Jell-O. Sex sells, people.  

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