When pigboys fly

Is Karl Rove’s comeuppance at hand?
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  May 17, 2006

For those of you old enough to remember the TV show Car 54, Where Are You?, it is time to do your best Gunther Toody impersonation, with an excited shout of “Ooh! Ooh!”

The occasion is the grapevine chatter, as indicated by the Web site www.truthout.org, suggestingthat Karl Rove, the vile pigboy and Dubya’s right-hand Gollum, is to be indicted for perjury and lying to investigators in the notorious outing of CIA operative Valeria Plame. If this is the case, we couldn’t be more delighted.

Regardless, it appears the chickens are coming home to roost for arguably the worst presidential administration ever. An illicit war, torture, “extraordinary renditions,” tapping the phones of Americans, congenital lying and a host of other transgressions have made Boy George’s reign a disgrace for the United States at home and around the world. With Chimpanzee Boy and Dick “Shots and Beers” Cheney ringing up lower approval poll numbers than Charles Manson and Jeffrey Dahmer, the jig appears to be up. Likewise for the asexual BS artist Condi “Queen Lotsateetha” Rice, and doddering funny old uncle and war enthusiast Rummy Rumsfeld.

We can only hope that Congress no longer puts up with any more of the Bushies’ arrogant approach to our civil rights, and that American citizens return the House and Senate to Democratic control this fall. Oh yes, and make sure Pigboy and Scooter Libby one day get to share a prison cell in general population. We’re sure they will quickly make friends.

Stepford wife to visit la Prov
Speaking of the Bush family horror show, Dubya’s obedient bride, Laura Bush, is slated to be at the Biltmore this Friday, May 19, in a $500-a-pop fundraiser for US Senator Linc Chafee. The First Stepford Wife, a Christian conservative like her spouse, is supposedly a popular figure. Perhaps that is why she will be able to observe a good deal of people outside the Biltmore at 4:30, telling her, the entire Bush family, and their chicken hawk friends, “Troops home Now. No war in Iran.”

The Rhode Island Community Coalition for Peace is organizing the protest and rally. Show up to let Ms. Bush realize that she and the policies she represents are no more welcome than if Dubya or “Big Time” Cheney were here. P&J suggest that the ladies wear an ill-fitting pantsuit to blend in.

Double shot
Residents of the Biggest Little will get more bang for their buck on Thursday, May 18 (unless things are delayed by inclement weather, of which we’ve had plenty), when two more parts of the old Jamestown Bridge will be blowed up good.

The state Department of Transportation has upped the ante for this part of the demolition of our legendary Erector Set structure. It will take down two of the end pieces of the span at once, when a-one-at-a-time-approach was originally planned. Given the ace job done by DOT in seemingly vaporizing the middle part of the bridge, we believe it can pull this off just as well. Of course, closing the bridge from 10 am until 2 pm will again disrupt traffic, but most of the people who saw the first blasting job doubtless consider it worth the trouble.

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