This is all sad news, really. Seems like just the other day we were driving while texting, blasted on K2 and bath salts, cutting lines of Percocet with a switchblade while stuffing our fat faces full of finger-licking horse-bacon, egg, and Virginia walnut grinders. Still, all dangerous things must come to an end — even if they're not dangerous, and even if there's no way that the government can end them. See you next year, so long as this Thousand Cankers rash doesn't take a turn for the worse.
Chris Faraone can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @fara1.
: News Features
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