Scrotie would continue to find trouble whenever he traveled beyond the friendly confines of Meehan Auditorium. During one game at the Massachusetts Maritime Academy's home rink, the penis — worn by a diehard fan named Bob, who is universally described as a "drunk asshole" — engaged in some ill-considered taunting of sailors in the stands.
Scrotie was torn to shreds. The Nads were not asked back.
That sort of experience may explain why plans for an away-game Scrotie — a giant, black cock to match the white one used at home games — have gone nowhere. "I don't think the world is ready," says Nads player Will Reeves, 27, a RISD alum who has helped construct Scroties past.
And Scrotie, truth be told, doesn't seem all that interested in reproduction. Indeed, his relationship with Clammy — the huge, vulva-like mascot for the rival Narragansett Beer-sponsored Clams — seems more antagonistic than romantic.
But he has been known to have his way with the mollusk on occasion. First-year coach Justin DeSorgher recalls the scene at the last game against the Clams: "I kinda glanced up from the bench into the stands and Scrotie had tackled their mascot and was, shall we say, simulating sex acts," he says.
"That was a little distracting."
MANLY MASCOT Scrotie gets the fans excited.
'GOD-AWFUL POLO PANTS'
DeSorgher, 35, has been playing hockey his whole life. His grandfather, dad, aunts, uncles, and cousins played, too.
And the coach, a special education teacher in Massachusetts by day, acknowledges that the RISD athlete is a bit different than the standard issue: "I asked somebody, once, how his week went, and he said, 'Fine, I bought a forklift.' "
DeSorgher, to be sure, has embraced the Nadsosity. He gets the joke. But he wants to win. And he's not alone.
There is a funny sort of tension that runs through the team: some fully embrace the gag — and are central to the mischief-making — while others are a bit more competitive; the Nads, for the first time in memory, actually had tryouts and cuts this year. And not everyone on the squad was pleased.
Indeed, I detected a touch of nostalgia, in some quarters, for the days when the team was a bit more performance art and a little less hockey.
When he was an undergrad, Osimo recalls, the team played to the soundtrack for Labyrinth, a fantasy film starring David Bowie and a bunch of puppets. "Eye of the Tiger" this was not.
"Up until this year," he says, "there were people — there was no forward motion in their skating. I wouldn't even call it skating."
Now, the star of the team is Matt Lawrence, a sophomore who played at Maine's upscale Berwick Academy — lots of "God-awful Polo pants with the logos all over," he tells me — and later, for the Boston Bulldogs of the highly competitive Atlantic Junior Hockey League.
The night of the Emerson game he is not only the best player on the team but, clearly, the best player on the ice.
Even Lawrence's prowess, though, has not produced a winning record for the Nads. The team had won just one game heading into the Emerson contest. And when Matt is ejected after a fight, the chances of adding to that total seem slim.