Capital boneheads

Uproar over Jefferson investigation is stupid
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  May 31, 2006

Is there anything more hypocritical than House Speaker Dennis Hastert, a fat slob and George Bush butt-boy, and his cronies getting their knickers in a twist because the FBI searched the congressional offices of Louisiana’s William Jefferson?

Did Congress take particular umbrage because Jefferson is black and a Democrat? No. After all, a raid on his home yielded $90,000 in alleged bribe money that was hidden in the freezer. Talk about cool cash. What his congressional peers were arguing is that their offices should be sacrosanct. Does this mean if you off someone, but leave the body in your DC office, the police should be unable to investigate the premises, never mind charge you with a crime?

The willing support of GOP US representatives for Dubya’s spying on innocent Americans, violating their civil rights on a daily basis for years, makes this all the more detestable, if not laughable. Hell, that’s what some people deserve for being against Boy George’s noxious war in Iraq, right? But don’t come a-knockin’ on any of our elected officials for workplace misdeeds, even if they, like Jefferson, had delayed in producing previously subpoenaed papers.

The unmitigated gall of Dennis Hastert, his Democratic counterpart, Nancy Pelosi, and everyone else who has turned a blind eye to Chimp Boy and Alberto Gonzales’s destruction of the Constitution, is beyond belief. How about a little extraordinary rendition for Hastert and his K Street cohorts?

Dry wit
Upon reading of the death of former US Senator and Democratic vice presidential candidate Lloyd Bentsen, Phillipe & Jorge were reminded of an encounter we had with him when he was running for the White House with Michael Dukakis.

Bentsen was attending a fundraiser at Hammersmith Farm, hosted by Senator Claiborne Pell. P. was assigned to meet and greet Senator Bentsen, and then escort him to Claiborne’s table. Bentsen, a tall, courtly man, and about 60, was very engaging as the pair walked across the giant lawn in Newport to a large tent housing all the donors and hosts. Phillipe couldn’t resist being a wiseass, so when he reached Pell’s table, he said, “Senator Pell, Senator [Bill] Bradley is here.” Without batting an eye, Bentsen slowly turned to P. and deadpanned, “Sir, Senator Bradley is a much older man.” Everyone got a bit of a chuckle, and P. quickly retired to his role of baggage carrier.

Where's the enforcement in Cranston?
Cranston has a new statute concerning signage in the city. It was inspired by the ongoing anti-abortion protesters at the women’s clinic on Broad Street in the Edgewood section. A group of neighborhood parents have been clamoring for regulation of the giant signs hauled out half of the week by anti-abortion protester Joseph Manning, which impede pedestrian access in front of the clinic.

A couple of weeks ago, the City Council enacted a new statute to limit the size of the signs and to keep them longer distances apart. As of this writing, though, the signs remain up and no move has been made to ticket and fine the protesters, as the law calls for. On Saturday, Jessica, a local resident, walked by and noticed that a police officer posted at the protest site was doing nothing. When questioned, the officer claimed to not know about the new law.

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