There's nothing Phillipe and Jorge like more than a political train wreck. So run, don't walk, to your nearest TV at 7:30 pm on September 6, the day this issue hits the stands, to watch the Channel 10 "debate" between Little Chi-Chi Cicilline, Ant-Knee Gemma and, yes, Little Rhody's own Casey Jones, Chris Young.
The last time P&J saw Chris debate in person was during a Providence mayoral contest that also featured Little Chi-Chi. He arrived late to the downtown forum, upended a substantial table in the middle of an incomprehensible rant, and generally lost his rag entirely until security dragged him away. P. happened to be on the panel that night and he had to restrain himself from laugh-out-loud applause for one of the weirdest and wildest showstoppers he had ever seen.
Since neither common courtesy nor the general laws of the universe are recognized in the world of Chris Young, expect something along the lines of Hell on Wheels meets The Candidate, with a little Veep thrown in for good measure.
We can only hope Chris comes toting a statue of the Virgin Mary again, and requests a little time up front to strum his guitar and croon a song, as he did during a "meet the candidate" television appearance two years ago.
Last week, P&J equated the standoff between tiny titans Cicilline and Gemma in a Channel 12 debate to midget wrestling. But this time around, we expect a Hulk Hogan performance from Young. And if he can coax his fiancée, Kara Russo, to attend as his ringside advisor, we might even get a Fabulous Moolah impersonation from her — leaping over the ropes to keep her partner from being tag-teamed by the two tots.
Don't miss it, folks. This one could become a Vo Dilun legend.
WALK THE TALK
They say integrity is measured by what you do when no one else is looking.
Independent Governor Linc Chafee, speaking at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte on the opening night, issued a stinging rebuke of the GOP, his former party, and a hearty call for something in short supply in Washington these days — moderation.
Years ago, when Linc was still a US senator, he gave a speech at the University of Rhode Island. The Urinal, of course, found it either beyond its means or attention span to cover it. The paper got its comeuppance when a Washington Post reporter, in attendance for the speech, turned out a profile on Chafee — with the speech near its center — that had DC buzzing; Chafee as his own man.
Chafee, in that speech, blamed both parties for the gridlock in Washington and suggested they might as well close down Congress if there was no way to work together. It didn't fit the party line, but our current governor had the guts to speak that truth to power.
This week he did it again.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
Despite all the talk about Clint Eastwood's notorious improvised routine at the Republican National Convention last week, your superior correspondents are of the opinion that Clint, tousled hair and all, was the highlight of the entire event. If you're going to make shit up (take note, Paul Ryan), this is the way to make shit up. Clint is still a Hollywood God at Casa Diablo.