Happy V-Day!

In Layman's Terms
By DANA FADEL  |  February 13, 2014

My fiancé and I have always wanted to try anal sex. We both agreed that our honeymoon would be the best time to do it. The date is coming closer, and I’m getting cold feet (about the anal). Am I being silly? Should I get over my fear and just do it? _CB

“How long is their honeymoon? It could be a good time, you never know. If you have a lot of time, depending on where you went, it might be the most clean, comfortable, removed place to try it.” _Kit, 35, bartender, at the Hunt and Alpine Club

“That’s a tough one. I would probably wait and not do it on the honeymoon. I remember what my honeymoon was like. We were both exhausted, and it was a cold, cold night — it was like 10-below zero — and neither one of us wanted to do anything. I think they should slowly add that to their repertoire, but certainly not rush it. To make it an extra-special honeymoon, you don’t have to go anal.” _Mark, 47, disc jockey, at Sebago Brewing Company trivia night

“Well, no, I don’t think so, but if that’s what they’re into that’s cool, you know? But always start small: pinky on the stinky, right? That’s what I say.” _Robert, 48, cook, at the Portland Public Library

“I’m a firm believer in experimentation.” _Tess, over 50, artist, at First Friday art walk

“The first time can be daunting; especially if you’re already worried about it. You’ve got to be relaxed. Why put the extra pressure on yourself of planning on it for your honeymoon? Why not just keep lube around and try it in the moment when you’ve haven’t built it up?” _Ramsey, 33, college professor, at Sebago Brewing Company

My advice: Maybe this anal sex fantasy you both have is hot and sexy because it’s only hypothetical intrigue. If talking about anal but not trying it is what actually turns you on, then you and your fiancé should discuss this before you go honeymooning. However, specifics do matter. Wouldn’t it be fun to say you tried anal in Hawaii?

I’m a 28-year-old woman and I’ve been dating this guy for a few weeks, and we seem to have a great connection. We’ve made out several times but I have a feeling that soon he and I are bound to have sex. Thing is, I’m still a virgin. Should I go ahead and tell him, or avoid the conversation and pretend I’ve done this before? _BT

“Just tell him. It would be special for her. She would want it to be special, since it’s her first time.” _Alana, 18, Reny’s employee, at Reny’s

“My, that’s an interesting question. I was 21 when I got married, so I don’t know anything about being 28, because I was much, much younger, and much more innocent than I am now. I would probably not tell him. If she hasn’t told him up till now...If she’s comfortable, she should just go ahead and just do it [have sex], and she can tell him afterwards.” _Mickey, 85, gerontologist, at a private party

“I might save that for after. I think it might seize up the process and it may prevent something that she’s trying to accomplish. “ _Kit, 35, bartender, at Hunt and Alpine Club

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