Dude, where's my car?

The Pells and the Prius; unfriendly skies; the long slog to 2016
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  March 12, 2014

The story of the Prius stolen from Mrs. Clay Pell — aka Michelle Kwan — has reached farcical proportions. If there were a late night Rhode Island TV version of The Tonight Show, it would take up half of the host’s monologue.

As facts emerge, it appears that Pell, a gubernatorial candidate, is not the man to be handed the reins as a chauffeur. When Kwan’s Prius was stolen on February 25, her husband had evidently just thrown the keys back into the car when leaving it parked on the street. They also presumably left the doors unlocked. We guess Clay didn’t have time to write out a sign saying, “Car’s open, keys are on floor,” to stick on the dashboard to accommodate any would-be thieves.

We then learned that Kwan had a hockey stick autographed by hockey legend Wayne Gretzky in the car when it was boosted. Well, that’s understandable. Whenever P&J get a memento from a sports legend, we usually stash it in the trunk of our car to show how much we value the item. It looks great when the trunk light goes on when you open it.

Now it appears that this is not the first time the Pells have been missing their wheels. This week, the Other Paper reported that, in December, Pell drove the car to his neighborhood coffee shop, walked home, and then reported the car missing to the Providence Police when he noticed it had apparently  vanished. This is either a) an indication that Clay has that good space cadet gene inherited from his beloved grandfather, Stillborn; or b) well. . . any time P&J have had trouble remembering where we parked, it usually involved numerous cocktails ingested during the previous evening.

Of course, your superior correspondents would never suggest that a gentleman such as Clay might have been hammered when he forgot where he parked. But it appears it is time for a new bright yellow paint job on your future rides, old son. (And a quick tip for the educated, but clueless: hold your keys up and hit the “doors open” button until you hear a beep somewhere. This sure works in airport parking garages when you’ve been away on vacation for a week and you come back home brain dead. Trust us.)

While we love the ingenuousness of Clay Pell, becoming a bit sharper as to the workings of the real world in the weeks and months to come may not be a bad thing to prioritize.

Hop in. You goin’ Downcity, mister?

Asian flew

The disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 only points to how dicey taking to the air in Asia can be.

P&J hark back to our own experience years ago taking a flight from Jakarta, Indonesia to North Sulawesi, up by the Spice Islands. We were on Megantara Airlines, airport code name MNA, which our witty Indonesian friends informed us was well known as “May Not Arrive.”

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