Just as McCarthy recognized Jon, he calls P&J to report finding a seven-armed starfish at Moonstone Beach. That this is the site of our most recent major oil spill, the infamous North Cape disaster. This should not alarm anyone, unless YOU HAVE EATEN ANY SORT OF RI SEAFOOD IN THE LAST 10 YEARS OR GONE INTO THE OCEAN FROM A RI BEACH IN THAT TIME!
As you all know, most starfish have only five arms, or blood-sucking tentacles, as we like to call them. They use these to wreak havoc upon shellfish, prying them open and sucking out their innards before going home to watch Dancing with the Stars. This doesn’t make them bad marine creatures. This male-enhancement type of animal should not just be pushed aside as a freak of nature. So if you should see a seven-armed starfish, report it immediately to the police, Jon Campbell, or Casa Diablo. We live to serve — and blow up automobiles for movies.
Well, now that an Iranian news outlet has offered a prize for the best cartoon featuring the Holocaust — a well-considered, rational response to the Danish cartoons that evidently insulted Muslims by depicting the Prophet Muhammad (real name: Bob Smith) — we have our own mullahs, the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, up in arms over a Tom Toles’s cartoon in the Washington Post.
The Post reports: “The Tom Toles cartoon, published Sunday, depicts a heavily bandaged soldier in a hospital bed as having lost his arms and legs, while Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, in the guise of a doctor, says: ‘I’m listing your condition as ‘battle hardened.’ Toles said he meant no offense toward American soldiers.”
The real offense should be with Rummy and his bunch of knee-jerk generals, for sending our troops to battle under-armored and undermanned, and with his efforts with Dubya, the cross-eyed chimp, to not let any news media show our bravest young soldiers returning to US soil maimed or in body bags.
Good on ye, Tommy Toles. Anything that gets the Joint Chiefs G.I. knickers in a twist is fine at Casa Diablo.
Your superior correspondents must throw in our two cents about last week’s Rosary for Life service that took place, quite inappropriately, at the State House. We feel that the governor and Mrs. Carcieri may, as private citizens, proselytize as much as they want about their anti-abortion beliefs. But conducting prayer services inside the State House (in the state founded by Roger Williams, no less) is absolutely wrong.
And, speaking of wrong, get this. Longtime anti-abortion, anti-gay activist Joanne McOsker, of Catholics for Life (who took part in the ceremony), told BeloJo political columnist Chuckie Bakst that the service’s purpose was “to end abortion and to establish the teachings of Christ in our government.”
What exactly is the difference between this position and that of, say, the Taliban, or any other fundamentalist Muslim group that wishes to create a theocracy in their own country? Apparently, the First Amendment means nothing to McOsker. If it means something to you, regardless as to where you stand on the abortion issue, we urge you to reject these activities. McOsker’s call for theocracy pretty much tells you about the real agenda for some of these extremists.