Evil genius

By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  June 27, 2007

M-I-C, K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E
Your superior correspondents love the morning weekend news on Channel 12, if only because it is local, and does not feature hideous self-absorbed talking hairdos, like Campbell Brown, Lester Holt, and Ann Curry on NBC, or whatever ladder-climbing imbecile they throw in front of the camera. Plus, Charles Osgood always shows up to rescue the day on Sunday with easily the best morning show on TV.
 
That said, could someone at WPRI please insert two people to host their Sunday morning slot with a wee bit more gravitas than Mark Zinni and Michelle Muscatello?  Watching these two reminds us of a high school video class production, what with the slap-and-tickle squealing while discussing deaths in Iraq. Come on, folks. (And might P&J recommend giving Mike Montecalvo a shot at the weekend anchor desk on weekends?)

Riding the proverbial
P&J are not easily put off our feed, but we must raise the issue of a new TV ad for Kotex. Is it just us, or when the voiceover an¬nouncer says, of their new “wings” version, to “Take it for a spin,” it might not be the exact way we would refer to a woman’s hygiene product. What’s next? Condoms? Yeah, take one for a ride.

Walking and sailing tall
It is easy to take some things for granted in the Biggest Little, but one of those should not be Newport.
 
With the arrival of the Tall Ships this week, the City by the Sea will attract national attention. This is all well and good. 
 
But on a daily basis, whether it is the gigantic ocean liners arriving in the harbor (and being mooned by folks at Clingstone), the Cliff Walk, Cardines Field, or Touro Synagogue — never mind the many great restaurants, like the pure funk of Salvation Café — the city is a treat. P&J don’t spend a lot of time bothering God, but we pass Touro Syna¬gogue every day, and the respect it is given by our numerous visiting Jewish (and other) brethren is truly inspiring.
 
Now if we could just get the damn America’s Cup back, even if it does involve dealing with what the famed sportswriter Red Smith called “millionaires with wet bottoms.”

Youtube mania at the air show
Your superior correspondents have to wonder what Philip Riviere, a 61-year-old retired New Bedford school teacher, was thinking, if the allegations of Rhode Island National Guard authorities are correct. Accord¬ing to the Guard, Riviere drew attention when he was observed videotaping the planes at last weekend’s Quonset Point air show from some decidedly avant-garde angles.
 
Of course, anybody behaving in anything but an overwhelmingly vanilla manner at a mainstream event (like the air show) is immediately suspected of being a terrorist. Phil wasn’t really a terrorist, but when he starting angling his camera down from a low viewpoint, as is alleged in the Other Paper, he drew immediate attention. Somehow, he thought that no one would be able to tell the difference between shooting planes in the sky and focusing near women’s skirts.
 
He told state police investigators that he was really embarrassed and had never done anything like this before. We can dig it. This is exactly what P&J told officials when we were observed plucking the wings of off three-dozen flies and then setting them up in rows on Jorge’s hair-riddled back and teaching them to march in lockstep. 

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