Do the Donald

Trump’s entry raises the casino sweepstakes
By  |  February 23, 2006

Now that The Donald has emerged as the bankroller of a proposed casino in deepest Johnston — and wouldn’t the landfill be wonderful as a site, symbolic in so many ways — it’s time to get into full Trump mode. To whet the appetite, P&J share a joke from a recent and great Sports Illustrated article on a Friars Club roast of legendary boxing promoter Don King, hosted by Trump.

The Friars’ roast is conducted by a legion of comedians, most of them clapped-out former Catskills schleps. But one of the up-and-comers, Lisa Lampanelli, brought down the house when she, as is traditional, doled out the all-blue, all-the-time grief to the host as well as the roastee. Of Trump’s roadkill hairdo, she said, “What do you say to a barber to get that kind of a haircut, anyway? ‘I fucked your daughter’ ?”

She also got a great line in about another attendee, the Amazing Kreskin (which shows something about the caliber of “celebrity” at this evidently gruesome event): “The Amazing Kreskin is here. He’s a mentalist, that guy — he can read people’s thoughts. What a horrible gift. How many times tonight alone did he hear people walk by him thinking, ‘Man, what a douche bag!’ ?”

Bring it on, Donnie Boy. We can’t wait.

Meg’s back
The outlook for cleaning the mess that is the administration of Roger Williams Medical Center got a whole lot brighter with the revelation in Tuesday’s BeloJo that former US Attorney Meg Curran is on the case. Meg will work with former Massachusetts prosecutor Leonard Henson to monitor the deferred prosecution agreement entered into by the hospital and the federal government.

It’s no secret that Meg is considered, at Casa Diablo, the best of the best. She has, of course, been battling multiple sclerosis for some time, and we are happy that her health is strong enough for her to take on this assignment. The world is more just and more honest when Meg Curran is involved.

Full speed ahead
Speaking of ethics, what Jack Abramoff?

After having flushed Tom “Cockroach Boy” DeLay out of his position as House majority leader, l’affaire Abramoff appears to have disappeared below the horizon, after its 15 minutes of fame, when “Shotgun Dick” Cheney took over the stage.

According to reports in the Washington Post, the entire ethics reform movement in Congress has slowed to a crawl. This is especially true in the House, led by the totally compromised Dennis Hastert. It is also due to the election of Representative John A. Boehner — “[who] has a different notion of what ‘reform’ should entail and who challenged parts of Hastert’s plan,” reports the Post — to fill DeLay’s cloven-hoofed shoes.

Boehner is the same bastion of morality who once actually passed out checks from tobacco lobbyists to representatives right on the House floor, and who has spent his winter break on a Caribbean “boys’ trip” with big-time K Street lobbyists. Phillipe & Jorge will not hold our breath waiting for any substantive ethics reform to come about, but we sure will exhale once Abramoff really begins to sing to save his ass.

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Related: Jack Abramoff, Justice DeLayed, Review: Casino Jack and the United States of Money (2010), More more >
  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , Politics, Baseball, Meg Curran,  More more >
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