Dollar Bill-ed

Senator Alves comes under scrutiny
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 3, 2007

Phillipe + Jorge are surprised and sad to see that state Senator Stephen Alves of West Warwick is being investigated by the FBI for stuff involving his powers as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee.
The question, according to a report by Mike Stanton in the Sunday BeloJo, is whether Stevie killed a tax incentive for Duie Pyle, a Pennsylvania trucking company looking to expand into Johnston, because he was cross with Johnston mayor Joe Polisena over Polisena’s choice of investment advisers.
P+J might not be lawyers — although we do own matching trench coats — but we might offer these bits of wisdom to legislators: 1) Don’t mess around with a business deal, fully endorsed by the governor and the state Economic Development Corporation, to bring much-needed jobs to the state; and 2) Don’t say to the trucking firm lobbyist (as the lobbyist told Stanton) that “Polisena screwed me” on the pension deal in question. You’re welcome.
Alves appears to be the newest target of the federal Operation Dollar Bill investigation of possible illicit deals at the State House. House Speaker Bill Murphy, another of West Wark’s Smith Hill delegation, has evidently served as Alves’s lawyer for at least a little while, according to a remark by JAR-head Bill Rappleye during this past Sunday’s 10 News Conference.
Perhaps Senator Alves might ask former Senate President Billy “Little Napoleon” Iron out for cocktails to celebrate. We would recommend the Halitosis Hall martini, shaken in its boots.

Trouser snake rumba, Cambodian-style
P+J always loved the Humble Pie song, “One-eyed Trouser-Snake Rumba,” with the obvious allusion. Certainly, the late Stevie Marriott and the boys would greatly enjoy the below story, from the Web site of the Bangkok Post, courtesy of faithful reader David Varone.

Trouser snake kills Cambodian man
Phnom Penh (dpa) — A Cambodian man who took off his trousers, tied the legs at the bottom and wrangled a 2-metre cobra into them died when it bit him through the fabric, local media reported Monday.
Khmer-language daily Koh Santepheap quoted police as saying Chab Kear, 36, saw the reptile swimming in a river just outside the capital last Thursday during a drinking session and captured it in the hopes of selling it later in the day. He tied the animal inside his trousers and a scarf around his waist, but as he continued carousing the enraged snake managed to get its fangs free and bite Kear three times on the stomach.

The newspaper reported Kear’s last words as being “don’t worry — it’s nothing a drink can't fix” before he succumbed to the cobra’s venom.

Yep, one more drink and they’ll be some dramas inside your pajamas tonight. Shine on.

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  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , U.S. Government, U.S. State Government, Halitosis Hall,  More more >
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