First District congressional candidate Adam Cote has been accused of being a DINO — a Democrat In Name Only. It’s an ugly charge, since it means that even if Cote doesn’t support higher taxes, excessive regulation, school consolidation, and mandatory hedonism — he still has to wear a scarlet “D” on his chest.
All the shame. None of the fun.
Sort of like Larry Craig. Except he’s a GINO — Gay In Name Only.
But back to Cote. During an early December interview on Portland radio station WGAN, the candidate stepped in a pile of fecal matter. (Not literally. It was PINO — Poop In Name Only.) According to the Web site PolitickerME.com, a caller claimed Cote had, until recently, been a Republican. Cote gave an explanation that seemed to indicate he was more of a MINO — a Member In Name Only. (Those readers beginning to suspect this is a one-joke column — having squandered its feeble punchline too early, it now has nowhere left to go, except to spiral down into a cesspool of repetition, sophomoric innuendo, and puns — are guilty of being impatient, rude, and humorless. Also, correct.) Cote admitted he’d briefly joined the GOP, because he wanted to vote for John McCain in the 2000 Republican presidential primary. But he insisted his positions on issues remained those of a donkey-party loyalist.
Apparently, he’d just had a brief infatuation with a guy who’s pro-war, anti-abortion, and anti-gay.
No, not Larry Craig.
And not all that brief, either. PolitickerME.com discovered Cote switched his registration from Democrat to Republican in Sanford in February 2000, a month before the GOP primary. In March 2001, long after George W. Bush had defeated McCain, Al Gore, and the voters of Florida to become what I’d refer to as President In Name Only if I hadn’t already used the acronym for that, Cote registered to vote in his new home of Portland.
As a Republican.
It wasn’t until July 2006 that he returned to his Dem roots. Five months later, Cote announced he was running for Congress. Is he feeling conflicted now that McCain is making another bid for the White House? Probably not, seeing as how Maine no longer has a presidential primary.
As for the primary we do have — the congressional one next June in which Cote will face five Democrats Insulated from Moral Wavering and Indicating True Steadfastness (DIMWITS) — he may have squandered what little chance he had of winning.
Let that be a lesson to politicians who attempt to fulfill roles for which they lack the appropriate qualifications or proper registration. They face the threat of being tagged with annoying acronyms. Such as:
Governor John Baldacci, a LINO (Leader In Name Only), and his plans to merge schools, jails, and natural-resource agencies — none of which demonstrate much potential for reducing costs. They should be called CASINOS (Consolidations And Savings In Name Only, Suckers). Except the guv claims to be against gambling, so maybe they could be dubbed something like Financial Experiments Gone Horribly Wrong. OK, not the greatest acronym, but FEGHW does approximate the retching sound that often greets Baldacci budget-balancing proposals.