BeloJo? Think Cosmo!

The Other Paper’s Web site wants to emphasize its feminine side
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  April 2, 2008

You’ve come a long way, baby!
That’s the motto at the Urinal these days, in regard to the exciting and innovative “news” emphasis that reportedly will be featured on its Web site,
It’s P+J’s understanding that Tom Heslin, the Other Paper’s Web ubermensch, has announced that a new women’s portal is in the works, and that it will feature all sorts of hard-hitting featurettes, with titles like “Let’s Chat,” “All About Me,” and “Blush.”
Ooooooh, your superior correspondents haven’t been this excited since we received a DVD boxed set of the entire run of The View for Christmas, darlings! To quote from an unsigned (for sooooo many reasons) in-house memo for the aforementioned “Blush” briefing get-together on Fountain Street, “This session will cover such topics as Romance, Dating, Celebrity, Astrology, Surprise, Buzz, Inspire Me!, E-postcards, For Men Only — The Other Team’s Playbook, and anything else you think might appeal to women (and men!) as individuals. When you sign up for this session, think Cosmo, Glamour, Self, Lucky magazines”
Wheeee! “Glamour Dos and Don’ts” all around!
But wait, there’s more. A recent Urinal survey of women readers purportedly revealed that what women want from their organ of record is . . . wait for it . . . news (!?!?). Yet this BS for the babes is being plumped as what Vo Dilun’s dames really want from their main media outlet. The new direction evidently has the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval from the Belo big boys in Dallas.
Imagine the staggering potential: an extreme makeover in the State House rotunda for M. Chuckie Bakst, by Kathy “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” Gregg and Cynthia Needham — with photos and streaming video galore.
Yet there are rumblings from the newsroom that perhaps the female employees therein didn’t get into journalism to be amid growing amounts of fluff about dating and astrology.
Phillipe + Jorge are sure we aren’t alone in saying, we just can’t wait!
Chuckie cheese
Speaking of our pal, M. Chuckie, don’t seat him next to Governor Don Carcieri at any upcoming soirees.
As the lovely Karen Lee Ziner noted in her story on the Don’s proposed humiliation of minorities, er, excuse us, executive order on illegal immigration, our immigration problem is due to one major thing: the media, particularly, the inquiring Mr. Bakst.
Ziner wrote, “Several times, Carcieri lashed out at members of the media, accusing them of inflammatory rhetoric . . . What stirs [things] up is what you [Bakst, the questioner, and implicitly, the local media] write. The language you use and others in the media are what inflames this issue. You use the right language and we can get a lot more balanced discussion on this. You’re the ones who are responsible.”
Oh. So now at least we know where the problem is. This couldn’t possibly be blaming illegal immigrants for everything but the Patriots losing the Super Bowl, could it? (Wes Welker? What kind of name is that? Guatemalan?)

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