The devil and Mr. Young

Multi-office seeker drops the knowledge on House Judiciary
By PHILLIPE + JORGE  |  May 14, 2008

Holy water, Batman! Mr. Self-important, Christopher Young, perennial Little Rhody multi-office political candidate and Olympic table-flipper, is back in the news.

No, Chris wasn’t being persecuted by local bank branch employees because they knew of his stance on federal monetary policy. This time, it appears, he had a superb fit of self-induced impetuousness. Maybe it was just past his bedtime, and he was sleepy and cranky.

The Urinal’s lovely Smith Hillette, Cynthia Needham, reported that when Young spoke on the gay marriage issues before the House Judiciary Committee on May 8, he sounded tired and emotional while speaking against combining superior behavior and marital bliss.

As Needham wrote, “Young chided committee members for falling asleep, accused them of corruption, of not believing in God and said their need to repay favors drives their legislative decisions. After Young quoted at length from the Bible, Rep. Raymond J. Sullivan, Jr. (D-Coventry) warned him to be careful as such quotations are subject to misinterpretation.

Apparently thinking he’d heard Sullivan say something about Satan, Young asked ‘You say Satan a lot, don’t you? You like that term, don’t you?’ ”
Hey, what’s not to like about Satan, except for his notoriously short temper and occasional treatment of sinners as if they were suspects at Guantánamo. And hey, Repre-sentative Sullivan — that’s Mister Satan to you, pal.

MCCAIN’S MAN, BURMA SHAVED
Ah, what of Mr. Straight Talk, the mighty Republican presidential candidate, who is generally not bothered by the compliant national media?
Mark Penn, Billary’s right-hand man and chief advisor, was forced to resign from her campaign (although, of course, he still might be giving her input) because he was lobbying for the Colombian government, for passage of a free-trade agreement opposed by Senator Pantsuit. So we hope everyone notes how one of Dubya McCain’s boys has also been screwing the sordid international pooch to line his pockets. 

Newsweek reported that Doug Goodyear, the man chosen by McCain to run the GOP convention this summer, and the CEO of a $3 million lobbying firm, works for the military junta in Myanmar. Yep, that’s the junta with a horrid human-rights record, the same fun guys who recently refused US aid for victims of the catastrophic cyclone in their country. You know how hard it is to quickly do the math in taking your proper cut off the top.

Funny, isn’t it, how Barack Obama gets ridiculed for the ranting of a preacher with whom he has no official contact, yet Hillary and McCain have greedy, morally dubious types cozying up, whispering advice in their ear, and being compensated for their wise counsel, while they simultaneously do dirty work for even more repulsive types. Who are the bigger whores? Johnny or Hilly, or their friends, Doug and Mark? No matter, all birds of a feather.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Once again, Comedy Central cuts closer to the truth than the mainstream media. From The Colbert Report, as noted in Charles Kaiser’s “Full Court Press” blog on 
radaronline.com:

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON: McCain has “such a passion for Iraq — that’s his Viagra.”
STEPHEN COLBERT: “I guess the warning on that should be, ‘If your erection lasts more than a hundred years, pull out!’ ”

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