Twin killing

Halitosis Hall offered chance to play high-stakes shell game
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  June 18, 2008

The General Assembly mulling a flat-broke state and a gambling joint gone bust. Now there’s a Biggest Little match made in heaven.

At P+J’s deadline, it appears that the august legislators at Halitosis Hall may be able to resist a blatant offer by the owners of the Twin River faux casino, but we have seen weirder things happen when money is waved under the nose of greedy pols.

After all, these are the same geniuses who got us into this financial debacle by mismanaging our assets for years. And now they ask for sympathy for having to make “painful” choices? Those are self-inflicted wounds, you clowns.

Twin River’s neat little offer of $500 million upfront, in return for the state taking a hugely lesser share of incredible profits down the road, happens to be just enough to wipe out the current $435M (give or take a few paychecks) budget shortfall. What a co-winky-dink!

You mean the Smith Hill wizards in charge of the state’s funds can grab enough cash to cover their collective ass and count on voters getting amnesia about who sent us down the tubes? Don’t bet against the short-term eyes at the State House walking away from that kind of a deal.

Sleep tight, Vo Dilun. The General Assembly is in charge of your money.

Female troubles
Phillipe + Jorge are enjoying seeing the shock, surprise, and discomfort on the face of the insanely grinning John “Third Term” McCain. This is because the howitzers pointed at each other by the Clinton and Obama camps have slowly swung around to put Dubya’s best friend right in their sights.

Look beyond the possibly staged ranting of the purported Hillary supporters who jumped in front of cameras to say they were going to vote for McCain, rather than the man who defeated their queen-in-waiting, and John McCain has as much to offer women as the Augusta National Golf Club.

While adhering to Dubya’s Neanderthal views on abortion, Third Term has been revealed to keep cozy company with a real hard-ass woman-hater.

He recently had to cancel a fundraiser at the home of his Big Oil buddy, Clayton Williams, a man who ran for governor of Texas in 1990 against a P+J all-time fave, Ann Richards. As if McCain might not have known about Williams’s raging and offensive misogyny firsthand, he was reminded of same by ABC News and the Washington Post — corporate media, for once, attacking their golden boy.

It Seems ol’ Clayton, while going up against Richards, said he would deal with her like a cow on his ranch, “[H]ead her and hoof her and drag her through the dirt.”  How charming. An uncharitable observation about rape also figures in his enlightening background, so we can see that McCain’s buddies have a wide range of talents.

Oh yes. Third Term cancelled the fundraiser, but is keeping $300,000 he already got thanks to the efforts of his knuckle-dragging pal. Cold Buds and cigars all around, boys! And get my boy Johnny another beer, bitch.

Can you hear me now?
From Britain’s Daily Telegraph on June 6 comes a report that shows how dangerous it can be for some nitwit who has to have their cell phone right next to them at all times, espe-cially if their boyfriend is a violent psycho.

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Related: See no evil, After Pennsylvania, The morning after, More more >
  Topics: Phillipe And Jorge , Barack Obama, John McCain, Hillary Clinton,  More more >
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