Corrente’s born-again retirement

If at first you don’t get a taxpayer-funded pension, try, try again
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  August 20, 2008

Now here’s a shocker: the Providence Retirement Board made a stupid decision. My heavens!

P+J, refer, of course, to the Retirement Board’s wisdom in awarding disgraced old La Prov political thug Frank Corrente, the guy who was videotaped accepting a bribe during the Plunder Dome investigation, a partial municipal pension. Why? Because he’s so lovable. (No, of course not. The guy would give a snake the creeps.)

The geniuses at the board noted that Corrente had served two separate terms of employment in Our Little Towne, one as a financial specialist and city controller, and the other as former Mayor Buddy “Vincent A.” Cianci’s director of administration.

The board’s decision, which is going to be challenged in court, held that Frankie Boy had been crooked only during his second tour of duty. He thus deserves the pension benefits accrued when he first served the community so majestically, or so the thinking went, compared with his encore performance.

P+J’s can certainly understand that logic. Frank obviously “turned corrupt,” in the way that homosexuals decide at some point in their lives to “turn gay.” It is crystal clear.  Overcome by watching too many episodes of The Untouchables, in the same way that viewing too many gladiator movies or performances of Cabaret can lead to massive male lifestyle and wardrobe changes, Frank chose a different approach after having returned to City Hall. 

As they say in Plan Nine from Outer Space, that proves it.

The Jack Reed-Paris Hilton connection
As we enter the doldrums of August, national political correspondents with nothing to write about prior to the conventions are trying to predict the vice presidential nominees of both parties.

While these conjectures (which may be at least partially settled by the time you read this) come with a sense of authority reciprocally balanced by a total lack of facts, they highlight the silly season of bored and irresponsible journalism. Phillipe + Jorge know that baby when we see it.

The name of our own “Little Big Man,” Senator Jack Reed, continues to be thrown about the national stage as a potential running mate for Barack Obama. As we have noted before, the major media outlets fail to realize that Wee Jockie meant it when he said way back that he would not accept that offer even if it came his way. This is in absolute contrast to typical pols, who make the same high-minded denial before falling to their knees with tears in their eyes and pleading, “Oh, please, God, oh, please, God, let him pick me!” as soon as the reporters split.

Having a bunch of hungover and daydreaming news people researching the ostensible veep candidates is not the optimum way to bring solid reportage to the public.

This reminds P+J about an incident a couple of years ago, when we wrote about Little Big Man. With tongue visibly protruding from cheek, we informed our dear, innocent Vo Dilun readers of Reed’s Washington rep for being a wild and crazy party guy, known for closing after-hours bars in Dupont Circle after nights of dirty martinis with lobbyists and favor-seeking contributors, sneaking out the back stairs of DC hotels in the wee hours after Champagne-soaked seductions of whatever celebrity hottie happened to be in town.

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