Naming convention

We asked, you answered: our readers text in votes for Sarah Palin's next baby name
By LANCE GOULD  |  September 23, 2008

080926_palin_main
Gwyneth had Apple. Posh had Brooklyn. And moose-killing miracle mom Sarah Palin beat them all with Trig Paxson Van Palin, a name so cool that it rhymes with “Eddie Van Halen.”

Trig, her fifth, was conceived and delivered while Palin was Alaska’s chief executive. And, in that the coolest state’s condom-eschewing hottest governor is still relatively young, one presumes she’s just getting started! If she moves into the vice-presidential manse at Number One Observatory Circle, or later, as President Palin, gets it on with the so-called First Dude in the Lincoln Bedroom, we fully expect this Russia-watching, Bush-doctrine scholar to be even more fruitful. (She may be a wacky, science-fearing creationist, but she must approve of math, because this lady sure can multiply!)

The children she’s already birthed have quaint, zany names — Track! Bristol! Willow! Piper! — that reflect her can-do, frontier spirit. And yes, there's already a web meme devoted to generating what your name would be if you'd been birthed by Sarah. But that's just artificial intelligence: we knew humans could do better. So we left it up to our readers to text in suggested names for Sarah Palin’s inevitable next baby. Herewith, our favorite 15. (Governor Palin: feel free to clip and save this list in case your offspring production reaches double digits.)

Editors’ favorite names for Sarah Palin’s inevitable next baby, among nominees texted in by Boston Phoenix readers:

15) Chaniqua
14) Cessna
13) Brig
12) Chastity
11) Hive
10) Sable
9) Scar
8) Pedro
7) Ripple
6) Birch
5) Joba
4) Burn
3) Thumper
2) Beyoncé
1) Trout

  Topics: This Just In , Elections and Voting, Politics, U.S. Politics,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY LANCE GOULD
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   HIGH AND LOW CULTURE FROM JAPAN  |  June 02, 2010
    Attention, admirers of quirky kitsch and over-the-top aesthetics: hit PAUSE on that Belle and Sebastian record for a second.
  •   GOING FOR GOLD GLOSSARY  |  February 17, 2010
    The Summer Olympics are fairly easy to comprehend for the average couch tuber: people running, hoisting, swimming in synch — all fairly quotidian activities.
  •   THE PHOENIX CLEANS UP AT NENPA  |  February 10, 2010
    Was 2009 a good year for newspapers?
  •   RAINBOW NATION  |  January 28, 2010
    After a torturous history of being treated like second-class citizens, the black population in this country stunned the world by pulling off the unimaginable: voting a black man in as president.
  •   INTERVIEW: OZZY OSBOURNE  |  January 29, 2010
    Long before he bit the heads off bats and doves, Ozzy Osbourne worked in a cheerless abattoir in the hardscrabble Aston section of Birmingham, England, where for 18 months he held such titles as "cow killer," "tripe hanger," "hoof puller," and "pig stunner."

 See all articles by: LANCE GOULD