Steve Valdez told the media that the genius BoA bank manager would not allow him to cash a check because he would not give them a thumbprint for verification of his identity. What a scoundrel, Mr. Valdez, if that is indeed your name! But Valdez had a cheap and highly suspect (to the BoA) explanation: he has two prosthetic arms, and therefore the accounting of his available thumbs adds up to zero. Handy excuse, eh? (The bad taste bell just went off at high decibels.)
Not to be duped, the bank manager told Valdez he could either open an account at the bank — a terrific and quite considerate BoA marketing strategy for new customers! — or come back to the bank with his wife and let her open an account. And could you please remember to check to see if she has two thumbs before coming down here and wasting more of our valuable time, sir?
Why it is illegal to shoot or simply beat to within an inch of their lives on the steps of City Hall all bankers, financiers, investment consultants, and stock market employees escapes P+J.
Sleep tight, Treasury Secretary Timothy "Tax Dodger" Geithner.
CORRECTION AND APOLOGY
Unlike 30 years ago, when your superior correspondents first began this Cool, Cool enterprise, the Other Paper has developed a team of diverse and thoughtful editorial voices. (In those days, it was a solid lineup of reactionary or near-reactionary white boys.) One of the best and most insightful is Froma Harrop, and your superior correspondents are embarrassed to acknowledge that due to a pesky and unfortunate editing error, we credited to her the complete opposite of what she wrote.
Here is what we meant to write last week:
"On the other hand we wince at his (and others') enthusiastic promotion of the Kennedy 'dynasty.' "
What actually ran in the paper was: "On the other hand, we wince at her (and others') enthusiastic promotion of the Kennedy 'dynasty.' "
In the paragraph preceding this line, we had referenced both Senator Kennedy and Ms. Harrop, who had written a fine commentary on his passing. The "his" in the original sentence was in reference to the Senator and, indeed, it was Ted and others who fomented this notion of a Kennedy dynasty. We were actually echoing the point made by Harrop, who pointed to this unfortunate Kennedy propaganda and identified Ted as a primary source of such baloney.
So our apology to the always perceptive Froma and bad on us for fumbling through bogs of pronouns when a more straight-ahead decision (like using the word "Ted") would have been wiser.
CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS RALLY, VERIZON LENDS A HAND
Massey Energy Company, a West Virginia coal mining company, threw itself a fabulous Labor Day party Monday in Holden, West Virginia. Tens of thousands of folks were bussed in from far and wide (as they were at similar anti-climate change events sponsored by fossil-fuel energy companies in Houston and elsewhere); the rally featured right-wing Fox TV propagandist Sean Hannity, rocker Ted Nugent, and Hank Williams, Jr. Even without a special appearance by Carrot Top, this was a lineup guaranteed to entertain the living shit out of people.