Paging Queequeg

Patrick and the Bishop go another round. Plus, farewell to Mary and Art.
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  November 25, 2009

Like Captain Ahab with Moby-Dick, it appears Providence Bishop Tommy Tobin has his own obsession with Rep. Patrick Kennedy.

In yet another instance of handbags at 10 paces between the Bishop and our Patrick, as Phillipe and Jorge head to press these two are locked in a fierce "Yes you did!" "No, I didn't!" argument over whether or not Tommy told Kennedy he could not take communion and that he would instruct Rhode Island priests to withhold it from him. (Just have some grape juice and French toast instead, Patrick.) Personally we would like to see the Bishop turn his time and attention to rooting out the shirtlifters in his ranks, but we guess that wouldn't satisfy his personal crusade against Rep. Kennedy. Funny how Tobin was pretty damn mum about this issue while Patrick's father Teddy was still alive.

Thar she blows, Tommy!


LET US HELP YOU!

Yes, let Phillipe and Jorge help to absolutely ruin your day. After all, if we can't bring you down properly, who can?

We hope that by now you have all heard that by flexing their financial muscle, employees at Citigroup and Goldman Sachs obtained H1N1 vaccine in advance of hospitals, clinics, and those other institutions who would have the gall to frivolously use it on the most vulnerable children and elderly while Masters of the Universe might be in jeopardy of contracting the disease. (Can't we get a national referendum on the ballot to allow these people to be stoned to death on the steps of the New York Stock Exchange?)

Wait, we are not done depressing you yet. The Sunday New York Times of November 15 revealed that in the midst of the health-care debate, an issue which P+J feel is a bit important, more than a dozen and as many as 40-plus members of the US House, both Dems and the GOP, gave speeches and submitted comments to the Congressional Record that were drafted for them by lobbyists and lawyers for Genentech, a division of the Roche pharmaceutical giant described as "one of the world's largest biotechnology companies." The evidence of this manipulation was startlingly verifiable, proving that these brazen bastards know they can do whatever they want with no repercussions.

And let us not forget the recent ruling by the Federal Election Commission that says it is just fine and dandy for Senate and presidential candidates to be flown around on corporate jets at discount prices, as long as they are not doing it as "a candidate." Sure, it's OK to be flown to fundraisers by businesses trying to curry favor with your elected officials, but somehow that is not considered being a candidate. Swallow that one, George Orwell.

So for those of you who were born this morning and weren't aware, our federal lawmakers are owned and run by lobbyists. The US Congress — the best money can buy.


DR. MARY C. BRAGA

Jorge runs Insight Radio, a reading service for people who are blind or visually impaired. About a year ago, he was visited by a couple of his longtime volunteers, Michael and Eleanor, a couple in their 80s. Jorge told them that there was someone there he'd like them to meet, and when the woman in question emerged from a recording studio, Eleanor said, "Is that the famous Mary Braga?"

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