Gifts of the magi

By AL DIAMON  |  December 22, 2009

Now, DHHS has a new $54-million computer program called the Maine Integrated Health Management Solution System. It uses the acronym MIHMS instead of MIHMSS, possibly because the former sounds less sinister than the latter. Or maybe dropping the extra "S" saved a few million bucks.

MIHMS will go into effect next year, but before that happens all health-care providers who want to be reimbursed will have to re-register, a procedure that can take "as little as five minutes," according to Harvey, although the average applicant should plan on the effort occupying a period of time equal to the rest of his or her natural life.

A special telephone help line has been set up to assist those who die before completing the process, so their heirs can continue from where they left off ("The deceased will have to sign Form XLY78394L to confirm that you're officially designated as the person he hates so much that he asked you to complete his registration").

Harvey had better be wary walking home on Christmas Eve. Dasher and Dancer don't just run over grandmas.

Finally, there's Democratic gubernatorial candidate Rosa Scarcelli, who on December 7 posted a press release on her Web site urging holiday shoppers to buy "from local businesses that provide Maine-made products and services."

Scarcelli's Web site is operated by a company from Boston.

That's where Santa is sending her (locally purchased) coal.

If you found this column insensitive to those who don't celebrate Christmas, e-mail your concerns to I'll get to them right after Hanukkah.

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