Of course, the focus wasn't exclusively on malfunctioning men. The FDA also tracked the effect of large dosages of the male hormone testosterone on women being treated for cancer. The result: "intensified libido, along with genital sensitivity and signs of virilism." Virilism, according to the FDA, is "the development of masculine physical and mental traits In the female." Mental traits? Watch for these warning signs: toilet seats left in the upright position; inability to ask directions when driving; repetition of the phrase "fuckin' A."

Since the FDA turned the cold shower on the whole notion of better sex through chemistry, one can only fall to one's knees and thank God for the agency's singular lack of imagination. By limiting its study to oral over-the-counter remedies, such earthly delights as massage oil, peekabo panties, inflatable pegos and pudenda, fluorescent neckties, shower nozzles, zucchini, doorknobs, knotholes, and athletic socks have escaped their scrutiny. It's all in the eye of the beholder, you know.

< prev  1  |  2  | 
Related: The Phoenix’s first annual sex-survey results, Dated advice, French tickler, More more >
  Topics: Flashbacks , Culture and Lifestyle, Stanford University School of Medicine, Food and Drug Administration,  More more >
| More

Most Popular