THE SONG: Delbert McClinton, "Weatherman"
THE LYRIC: "If precipitation is drowning all your plans/just call information up, ask for the weatherman"
THE VERDICT: Harold Ramis wrote these lyrics, so we'll give ol' Delbert a pass here. Does Ramis know how much actual weathermen hate it when people ask them to "give us some sun this weekend" or things along those lines? More importantly, though, try googling the lyrics some time. What we quoted above might not even be correct, in which case, apologies to messrs. Ramis and McClinton. (Suggested by, uh, Ryan Stewart!)
THE SONG: Van Halen, "Summer Nights"
THE LYRIC: "Just hangin' 'round the local parking lot/Checkin' out the girls see what they got / Yea they love it when me and the boys/Start playin' love with them human toys/Yea we just wind 'em up and let 'em go, oh yea."
THE VERDICT: Jaw-dropping misogyny. Wow. (Suggested by ColonelTom.)
THE SONG: Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Around the World"
THE LYRIC: "I know, I know, for sure/ding ding dang ding ding ding don ding don dang"
THE VERDICT: Reader Spradlinnn' speculates on the band's mindset: "Funny cause their attitude is probably 'That's great! Just leave that, don't even try to come up with another stanza!'" The Chili Peppers are another band that are notorious for their lyrical atrocities. This is just the most obvious and reader-suggested option we could find for the moment.
THE SONG: Starship, "We Built This City"
THE LYRIC: "Someone always playing corporation games/Who cares they’re always changing corporation names/We just want to dance here someone stole the stage/They call us irresponsible write us off the page"
THE VERDICT: You fight the power, Starship, you glorious rebels you! (Suggested by music editor Matt Ashare, seconded by smellface, who, for all we know, is actually Matt Ashare.)
THE SONG: Destiny's Child, "Bills, Bills, Bills"
THE LYRIC: "Can you pay my bills?/Can you pay my telephone bills?/Can you pay my automo' bills?/Then maybe we can chill/I don't think you do/so you and me are through"
THE VERDICT: Reader Tnicholes was surprised there was no Destiny's Child among our set of nominess, so here it is. Just one year later, they'd change their tune with "Independent Women." But still . . . was that how women saw men back in 1999? Were Destiny's Child simply reflecting the zeitgeist?
THE SONG: Captain and Tennille, "Muskrat Love"
THE LYRIC: "Muskrat Susie/Muskrat Sam/Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land/And they shimmy/And Sammy's so skinny"
THE VERDICT: Another one that's mentioned in just about every one of these lyric lists. With good cause. The suggestion was made by Judy.