Looking for the next ‘Lisa’

Annals of Cultural Decline
By ADAM REILLY  |  May 30, 2007


A Dutch TV station says it will go ahead with a programme in which a terminally ill woman selects one of three patients to receive her kidneys. . . . The 37-year-old donor, identified only as Lisa, will make her choice based on the contestants’ history, profile and conversation with their family and friends. Viewers will also be able to send in their advice by text message during the 80-minute show.
- Reported by the BBC News, May 29

In light of recent developments in Holland, American network executives might consider the following five programs for their fall line-ups:

REALLY LOST 10 Alzheimer’s patients battle for survival on a deserted tropical island; think Lord of the Flies meets Golden Girls. Keep an eye on those alliances, because they’ll change every week! Following a tearful family reunion, the winner gets an all-expenses-paid trip to a very special clinical trial.

GET HUGO Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez could become another Castro, but not if our contestants have anything to say about it! These 12 tough guys (a mercenary, a fireman, etc.) will need all their brawn — and brains — as they vie to become Chavez’s personal angel del muerte. Don’t be fooled by the bloodthirstiness; the real incentive here is gas money.

COMING TO AMERICA Tired of watching powerlessly as the genocide in Darfur continues? Now you can make a difference! Ten gregarious refugees vie for a single adoption slot by taking one big-hearted Saginaw, Michigan, family for a test-drive (and vice versa); viewers pick the winner based on assimilation potential and general compatibility.

CUTTING THE CORD The J twins have been bickering ever since a freak accident left their older brother in a vegetative state. Jane wants to cut the cord, but Julie won’t hear of it. After each sib tearfully pleads her case at a hospital “hearing,” our all-star panel of judges will settle this beef once and for all.

WHO’S YOUR DADDY? Little Ashleigh is in for a surprise: her father isn’t on a “long business trip,” like Mommy says, but dead and buried. After mom’s many suitors try their hand at being a stepdad, Ashleigh learns the shocking truth — and picks her new papa! You’ll cry, but they’ll be tears of joy.

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  Topics: Television , Politics, World Politics, Hugo Chavez,  More more >
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